How important are similar love languages for marriage success?

6 comments

1. Similar love languages are not important. Making an effort is important.

2. 20 years in, just heard about this love language thing over the last 2 years or so🤷🏻‍♀️
   It’s not something we talk about or put thought into as a couple.

3. What’s important is to recognize how they and you communicate so you understand that a gift means something to that person, as do words, chores, etc.

4. While love languages might be helpful as a tool to find out what you and your partner likes, it shouldn’t be treated as gospel. It’s made up. It’s not scientific.

5. Love languages are quite a new trend. Never heard of it when I started dating my husband 15 years ago. But whatever name you give it, I think it’s important for the couple to understand each other’s needs and make an effort to fulfill them.

   Like any need you have, if it’s not tended to, you will feel a void and it will lead to resentment or detachment. Just like anything in a marriage, it’s all about compromises if something isn’t natural for you.

   That being said, how was the situation before marriage? Was he fulfilling your needs (love language)? Because if not, he just is as he always was and hoping he will change is a moot point. If he was fulfilling your need and things deteriorated than the problem is elsewhere and you need to communicate and rekindle what has been lost in everyday life.

6. Depends on what the love language is. It’s not difficult to buy someone gifts even if you don’t care for them yourself. But if physical touch is super important to you but not to your partner, it’s not going to work out.

   If you need to put conscious, sustained, continued effort into meeting you partner’s needs, you are probably not compatible. Choose a partner whose needs you can meet very easily and naturally.