When I want to catch up on some old friends or bring something up to my current friends, I imagine the scenario in my head and give reply on behalf of them and carry out the whole conversation, Now when its time for the real conversation I tend to forget about messaging them or don’t want to do it cause I already did it in my mind and I don’t want to do same thing again.
For example I want to catch up on my old friend them I will imagine that I dm him ,”Hey! Then ask about his study and his day” and will reply in my mind on his behalf that like,” Hi op, My study is going great, what about you, Oh my day was just fine…… “. So now when its time to actually dm him I don’t wish to do it.
Help me.
2 comments
I tend to do this to, but what has helped me is the fact that we do not know for certain what the other person might be doing, since we are not with them and the things that our mind says are very vague if you think about it. Besides, their responde might spark another convesation about something else.
How accurate are your imaginary conversations? If conversations are that predictable for you, I’d take it as a sign that you’re getting stuck in small talk and struggling to transition into real conversation. Small talk is basically a verbal handshake. You know how that’s going to go because predictability is the point; small talk evolved to ease people into conversations.
Clearly that’s not working for you. Catching up with an old friend seems like a good opportunity to break out of that. They’re a real person, their life isn’t scripted, so something’s bound to have changed. It’s not necessarily easy to evoke that from out of the blue, but try to talk to them and really learn something new about them.
On the other hand if your predictions haven’t been accurate in the first place, then there’s no reason to act on them at all. Be open to being surprised by other people and what they’re really like.