My (22f) boyfriend(23m) wants another session of counseling. I want to break up.

24 comments

1. You don’t owe him anything. He’s shown you who he is. Leave.

2. I’m going to be honest, and I might be downvoted for this, but I believe that couples counseling is for couples that have a GOOD reason to stay together. Maybe you own a business together, maybe you have kids, maybe you’ve been together for decades and your families and finances are so intertwined that lots of people would be impacted by you separating.

   If you haven’t even been together a year, and if the problem in the relationship is that your boyfriend is a compulsive, non-stop liar, then you don’t need counseling, you need a different boyfriend.

3. 22, 9 months and already in therapy with a serial liar? Wow. Yeah, just stick around until he puts a ring on it /s

   Seriously, don’t waste time and move on. You don’t owe him a thing.

4. My advice is to go to the couples counseling session that’s scheduled and as soon as the session starts, tell the therapist that you no longer want to be in a relationship with this man and you have tried to tell him that and he’s not accepting it, so you need the therapist’s help in this last session to get him to understand that this relationship is over and he needs to leave you alone.

5. You don’t need to stay in a relationship when you never know if he’s telling a lie or not. Like, it may be things to make himself look better to you now but what if it starts to grow into “oh I’m working late” but he’s out at dinner or bars. While your sitting there waiting, go with your gut if it says leave stick with it.

   Like you said he says he can change but hasn’t in 9 months

6. There really is no point in continuing counseling. He can’t stop lying and you already made up your mind. You owe him zilch.

7. 9 months in and you guys were in couples counseling?? That’s something I’ve never heard before.

8. You’re both very young. There’s plenty of time for him to change. That said, it seems a little early for that degree of change. 22 is very early to be expecting forever.

9. Well HE certainly should be seeing a therapist to figure out why he is compulsively lying, but I see no reason for you to go with him. You owe this man absolutely nothing. Just get your remaining belongings and break things off with him for good. Be firm that things are over with and if he keeps bothering you, just block him and move on.

10. Here’s the problem with a serial liar. How much of him that you know is him, and how much of it is a lie waiting to be cast aside. Does he say he likes cats because you said you had one, and would it suddenly be an issue if you wanted to get one? Just as a single example.

    One of the most important foundations in a healthy relationship is trust, which can only be built with time over repeatedly proving yourself trustworthy to another person. Which gets right to the core problem: You don’t trust him not to lie to you, because you can’t.

    >I found out he lied about a something major for the entire relationship.

    I’m assuming the lies he told were relatively small things, but things designed to make him look good, correct? Let’s say you get married and something big happens. He loses the house/gets you evicte, loses his job, blows all your combined savings on a get-rich-quick scheme, etc, etc… Do you think he’s going to want to tell you the truth then? Do you trust him to do so?

11. Why are you in counseling together if you’re not married? This is just an attempt to control you. For God sake, leave!

12. OMG girl just go. Ya’ll not married.

13. No amount of “counseling” is going to fix a compulsive liar. Just leave.

14. Dude just ghost. You can live without whatever you left at his house.

15. Go get your stuff, and then move on.

16. You can break up with him. It’s ok for him to lose you as a result of his behavior even if he did actually change. Which, by the way, I agree is unlikely. Guys who lie like that – unimportant things to make themselves look better – they don’t usually stop.

17. You’re not obligated to be a part of his therapeutic journey.

    Family member is a pathological liar. Staying with him, might trigger in his brain “I’m getting away with” and it will never stop.

    His behavior might be deep rooted and never change.

    He needs therapy on his own, and he might legit have a condition, that needs to be kept in check.

18. Leave him. Move on. You can do this.

19. If you need couples’ counseling in less than a year, it’s not worth it.

20. You’ve only been together 9 months. This is the best he will ever behave. Just leave him. Couples counseling makes sense if you have been married 10 years and have kids, but after 9 months? Hell no.

21. The relationship is too young to be dealing with this kind of bullshit.

    I wouldn’t go to couples counseling with someone unless we’d been together for a minimum of five years or had kids together. This isn’t worth it. Leave him, he can get individual therapy and be better for the next girl

22. If you are truly done, just leave, you are not anyone’s slave.

23. “I want to break up.”

    Then break up. Case closed.

24. You are 22, you’ve been together for 9 months, why the hell are you going to couples counselling? That’s for people who have been married 20 years, and have grown apart 😂