I’ve (F28) been watching an unhealthy amount of “young adult/teen” type shows lately. It seems that the writers always make high schoolers hyper focused on sex (including being desperate to lose their virginity at like 14). The only other thing that they care about is getting into an Ivy League school.

My friends and I just weren’t focused on that at 15, so it makes me view the adult writers as a little creepy for putting such a huge emphasis on teenage sex/sex scenes. Am an outlier here and just don’t know it?

Would love if you could include your gender, just to see if it varies!

36 comments

  2. I was definitely very horny and thought a lot about sex as a teenage boy but I wasn’t, like, devoting a huge amount of time to trying to have sex or anything. Mostly because I was an awkward, nerdy, ugly teenager lol. I think I look better now though, definitely good to get the ugly phase out of the way early in life.

  4. > been watching an unhealthy amount of “young adult/teen” type shows lately

    Any amount is an unhealthy amount, those shows are notoriously dramatized, exaggerated and inaccurate.

    I’m a 27 year old dude, and while I was a bit preoccupied with sex at that age, it wasn’t the absolute focus movies and TV would have you think.

  5. No, and it wasn’t for my friends either.

    Gen Z in general is having less casual sex on average.

  6. I’m female, and no certainly not at 14. When I was 17 some of my friends started losing their virginities and I was scared I was going to be left behind lol but it wasn’t like a priority or something I thought about that often.

  7. Wasn’t a priority for me at that age, really. Friends never discussed it, either. We had other, much more pressing issues we were occupied with… like making it big on YouTube.

  8. I think very few lost it freshman year. You’re not emotionally and physically there yet. I would say 16-18 is usually when the social kids lost it.

  9. I was totally not ready for dating during most of my teenage years, let alone sex, so I turned down all offers for a while. I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but it was my experience. Edit: I’m a woman.

  12. From about age 15 to 22, it was probably my primary motivation in life.

    Edit: Im male and this would have been late 80s/early 90s.

  13. 22F (graduated 2018) and everyone I knew was having sex in high school, but idk if it was a big priority in the sense that there wasn’t a lot of fuss over it. I distinctly remember some couples leaving quickly at lunch break to walk home and get it on while their parents were gone. I also remember the first time my best friend lost her virginity, for some reason about 5 or 6 people knew that’s what she and her boyfriend were going home to do. So yes most people desperately wanted to have sex, but I don’t think it was the biggest priority.

    And by the way this was in a super nerdy school in the Bay Area. So I can’t imagine how it would’ve been in other places.

  14. I never actually wanted to have sex as a teenager, because I wanted to wait. But yes, I talked about sex all the time.

  15. I (man) didn’t really think about sex much until I got to college. Some of my friends had had some, most hadn’t, so I wasn’t entirely convinced it was something I had to be doing. In college it seemed like everyone was banging 24/7, it became much more of a priority to get laid often so I could fit in.

  16. As a gay teen in the late 2000s who didn’t really have friends or socialize and was pretty awkward and in the closet until senior year, sex was definitely on my mind but there wasn’t much I could do about it.

    Or at least not much with other people…

  18. I pretended it was. I even wished it was… But in reality, I was too focused on not being awkward around girls I liked and ended up being really awkward around girls I liked.

  21. I was a teen in the 80s and female. There were tons of movies where losing virginity was the entire plot (“Risky Business,” “Losin’ It,” “Porky’s,” “The Last American Virgin,” etc.).

    I was a book nerd and and chubby, plus I desperately wanted out of my small rural hometown. It really wasn’t a hardship for me to masturbate to bodice ripper novels and wait till college. All but 3 of the girls I went to high school with had kids by 19, and most of them still live in that shitty little town. No thank you.

  22. I’m a woman who was in high school in the early 00s. My graduating class contained 8 girls who had had babies during high school and it was generally acknowledged that by senior year, chances were slim that a student would still be a virgin. I personally didn’t care about the ritual of virginity-losing, but was definitely constantly horny (still am!) and was always looking for someone to scratch the itch. But it may be important to note that I live in a tiny town of low-income, mostly minorities. I have no frame of reference for how all these white, affluent city kids from the tv shows would behave in real life.

  23. Not really, I was more into getting my drivers license going to concerts and having fun with my friends. Hell a big push was getting enough money to buy a PlayStation so I can play gran Turismo with my friends. I am male btw I had an interest in girls but beyond two times of asking girls out and getting rejected I kind of steered clear of dating until my 20s lol

  26. I had the same raging hormones that every other teenager has/had, but was too socially inept to ask a girl out for a date, let alone even think of trying to get one into bed.

  27. I graduated in 1989, from a large suburban high school (the height of the John Hughes era)
    As a teenage guy, sex was on my mind but it wasn’t a priority. School, my job, family and friends were my priorities. I know people were having sex, some were having lots of it, but I wasn’t one of them.
    College on the other hand…

  28. My parents said I couldn’t date when I was in high school. Their reason was so I didn’t get a girl pregnant or something. Because I’m a goody two shoes (and a nervous wreck), I listened.

  29. Priority like it was the driving point of my life? No.

    But by the time i was like 15 I’d definitely gotten my fair share of mouth hugs. I was 16 when I first had full on intercourse.

    I got laid more in my youth than I do now as an adult lmao

  30. My general friend group did not treat sex as a big priority. But it actually was a bit for me so I got it over with at 16.

  31. It was until I lost my virginity than I realized it wasn’t all that so I went around telling my friends to wait as long as possible. Maybe it was who I did it with but to me now sex just doesn’t seem right.

  33. My friends were all hooking up but I was a goody catholic boy so I just masturbated and didn’t talk about sex. Male, born in the 90s

  34. Mid 30’s male here. It wasn’t at all important while in school, and still isn’t for me today.

  35. I wasn’t, nor were my friends for the most part. I had one friend who was both very insecure and very focused on sex, not sure if there was a connection of any sort.

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