Boyfriend and I signed a lease on a house four months ago, and broke up just shy of two weeks ago. It was not amicable, I found out he cheated on me the day it happened, and he admitted to having emotionally cheated for a month before that. I told him the night we broke up I would be moving out and he understood.
I contacted our landlord soon after that we no longer wanted to live together, and they said that we can terminate the lease for a fee, or I can have my name removed from the lease provided my ex re applies for the home himself. In the past week I’ve secured a hold on an apartment of my own and am waiting to sign the lease. Today I told my ex that I have a place lined up and I wanted to know what decision he had made whether to stay or move.
He told me he wants to stay here, and will eventually move in a roommate to offset costs. However he wants me to stay on the lease with him, as he’s not sure if his paychecks and credit score will be enough to qualify him for the home on his own. (We both make good money, both of us make 3x the rent on our own if we would work all our hours, which neither of us do. He told me he hasnt been working his hours and isnt sure with his current paystubs if it will be enough. I’ve also paid more for my own rent when I went month to month on my last place in order to line up moving in with him. My credit is also awful, but I’ve used a cosigner in the past to help get approved.)
I told him i wanted no legal responsibility for the place if I’m not living there, but eventually agreed so long as he would give me my half of the security deposit at the end of the lease which he agreed to (we’ve also had arguments on money that he says I owe so I don’t trust him to do this either.)
I told a couple of my friends this though and they said I need to put my foot down and demand I’m taken off the lease like we discussed, and that I’m no longer responsible for my exes finances or living situation after what he did to me. I dont want to have any legal connection to him, and I don’t want to be liable if something happens to the house, but my ex is also very good at getting his way and I’m not good at arguing, I’m afraid things will end in a fight like they have all week. He also said I signed a contract, which I did, I understand, but I’ve already told him the ways to change that, and obviously things have changed since I signed that contract with him. We had originally considered living together if we broke up, but living here since the break up has been horrible for my mental and physical well being. I’m stressed when he’s here, and I’m stressed when he’s gone because I know he’s at his new girlfriends place and frankly I need to move on if I want to heal.
I dont want to be on the lease with him anymore, but should I stay on it? Or should I put my foot down and cut ties with him completely?
10 comments
Get off the lease.
Get your name off the lease. It isnt up to you to chase him for a decision, you know what he wants.
Girl get off that lease! You’ll be responsible for anything that happens to that house after you leave. Why risk it? Once you’re all moved out tell him you’re removing your name and then wash your hands of this man.
Absolutely not. Do not do this to yourself. Heck even my partner’s family told me only 1 person goes on a lease or house because of problems like this, I know it probably sounds cold but do not give them anything especially that. What he is asking for from you is too much, and it’s not fair. My advice do not do it, just say sorry I gotta go on with my life, and he needs to be an adult and understand that.
Nope, get off the lease and make sure to have the landlord do a walk through so they can see the state you left it in, take photos and date stamp them.
I don’t care what he wants, if he’d been loyal he wouldn’t be in this situation. Don’t bother fighting with him, he’s not worth it. Don’t let this cheating fool ruin anything else.
He should have thought about that before he cheated.
You do NOT owe him anything, and you particularly don’t want to be financially tied to someone that you broke up with on bad terms.
He has no rights here, and is taking advantage of your good nature.
Get the hell off that lease, do NOT let him shame you, cajole you, or work you over.
**If you need permission to stand up for yourself and make someone else unhappy,** ***here it is!***
How much is the fee to terminate the lease? That’s a unilateral deal, meaning he can’t stop you from paying the fee and breaking the lease. Tell him either he reapplies on his own, or you terminate the lease and he can go fuck himself.
Get off the lease immediately. You don’t get any benefit from continuing this arrangement, and he could really screw you over if he chose to. Plus he cheated and already has a new girlfriend so you don’t owe him any favours.
Nope, no way nit a chance in hell!! Remove yourself from the lease and tell him to go find a roommate faster.
Pay the fee and get off the lease if that’s the only option.