I’m a skinny dude, can’t gain mass normally due to my metabolism, despite being someone that eats a lot and lives a generally sedentary life. I followed previous advice for bulking up but it didn’t really work. Growing up having to deal with the usual comments of “Why are you starving yourself/why don’t you eat more” or “why don’t you work out more” etc. did affect my self esteem for majority of my formative years. Doesn’t help that by societal standards, a skinny man is seen as less manly, and growing up around your male classmates who usually bigger than you and teasing you about it didn’t help either.

Most of that changed after hitting adulthood, finding (most of) myself and all, I’m now comfortable with my body! Been happy with my twig self for years now. Wanted to hear if any fellow thin guys went through similar things and how you went about gaining that self esteem.

24 comments
  1. I just started talking shit back tbh. Most of the people who say shit to me are fat fucks. “Why are you so skinny?” Me: why are you built like a UPS truck? I got tired of being nice so if you wanna hurt my feelings, imma do the same 🤷🏾‍♂️

  2. I am a woman, my fiance is a skinny dude. I can’t tell you how to get comfortable with it as a dude, but I can tell you what attracted me. 1) Skinny dudes stay hot longer. Have fun with your beefcake Becky, cause he’s gonna turn into a meatball in like 10 years. Tony Hawk is fucking 53 and way hotter than any muscular dude his age 2) You know what’s not fun during sex and cuddling? Being crushed by some dude’s 80lb thigh. 3) CONFIDENCE. Do you know how hot it is when my electrician, outdoorsy, car guy fiance can actually build and fix shit while a bunch of gym bros stand around? Slim dudes are just as masculine as any other guy, without making being jacked their entire personality.

  3. Not an answer, but

    >despite being someone that eats a lot and lives a generally sedentary life.

    Worst thing you can do to yourself. That’s the worst way to gain weight. I did that, being skinny, because I wanted to bulk up, just ended up being skinny fat. Now losing that poorly gained weight in a much more healthier way.

    My self esteem gain came when I looked up how to get in shape and realized that being skinny and gaining muscle is a blessing compared to being fat and gaining muscle. I also faced much less comments, although had my fair share, compared to my colleagues who were fatter.

  4. Accept that this is just your body type and there’s nothing you can do about it. For almost 30 years of my life i’ve hated being skinny. It’s embarrassing. I want to keep my shirt on just as much as any obese dude does. But i’m a pretty decent person, and what i look like doesn’t change that. Just embrace it as part of who you are.

    If you want to try to look less skinny, eat well and work out. You’ll stay skinny, but you’ll start toning. I haven’t yet found a way to actually gain weight and build muscle, but i at least *look* like i look after myself.

  5. We all have different body types and it’s something to celebrate. Don’t let social beauty standards affect your well-being. Later in life, you’ll be grateful you’re so thin as it seems people naturally gain weight as time passes.

  6. I was skinny when I was in high school. I was skinny until I was 25. I was 148-152lbs at 6’3”, which is bordering on unhealthily underweight (although I was in decent cardio shape). My weight didn’t change for a long time, and additionally I got an autoimmune disease that made it even harder to keep on weight (spent a year pooping blood out)

    Point is, I’m 185lbs right now and it’s the lightest I’ve been in a while. I got up to 225lbs and basically brick wall sized and very strong/athletic comparatively (295lb bench, 365lb squat, 485lb deadlift, 175lb standing overhead press, +85lbs pull-up, 50” box jump).

    And the entire time people were telling me it wasn’t worth it to work out because I will always be skinny. I liked being skinny but I also like being strong. My current weight is pretty good for my frame, not huge at all, but lean. Being heavier has advantages and disadvantages.

    Your body is capable of change. Remarkably so. I read the book “Starting strength” and ate tons of food as was the style 10 years ago on Reddit fitness forums.

    Go to /r/gainit and read the FAQ

  7. I’m in my 50’s still lean as I was in high school. I’ve watched all my beef cake buds turn to blobs. I get flirted with all the time and still can see my dick when I look down. Being lean is the way.

  8. Work out a couple times a week like a normal chap and realize that you’re twice as strong as your average woman. Maybe 3x on certain things. The scale is so against them that the degree between you and another man is irrelevant

  9. Dude, work out regularly it comes over years. I was paper thin as I was bullied in school and had bulimia back then. After a painful break up I began training and got muscular but not the bulky type.

    I’am skinny but muscular and most of the women in my friend groups regard that as the best as it can get. So you’ve got a really good base at your hand to work on if you want to.

    Also many women really don’t care as much about your body type if you are neither skin or bones nor morbidly obese. It’s about the little things in life which really do seem to matter. Just getting someone a bundle of flowers and you’ll make an unforgettable memory.

  10. I stopped bullshitting myself about my ultra fast metabolism when I realized I was just eating large amounts of junk and then fasting for extended periods of time. As soon as I started having actual set meals, proportions, exercising and lifting, I gained weight. Was 6’1 130lbs until I was around 22, 10 years later I’m hovering around 200, fairly lean. Metabolic issues are *rare*.

    >I’m a skinny dude, can’t gain mass normally due to my metabolism, despite being someone that eats a lot and lives a generally sedentary life.

    Have you ever actually done a month long food log?

  11. Wasn’t ever a major insecurity (tall + broad shouldered gets you pretty far even if there’s not a lot of meat on the frame), but reaching that point in my early/mid-20s where most of the people around me were slowly getting heavier and I….wasn’t, was about the point where I felt it fully flipped to a positive.

    That said, even if you don’t gain weight, being more fit will typically make you look better and feel better. I work out pretty regularly and like the results.

  12. jus try to lift once in a while and actually eat. track your food. i promise you’re not eating as much as you think you are

  13. Scrawny guy here. Never bothered me but if it did i could just turn sideways & hide behind a sign post

  14. >can’t gain mass normally due to my metabolism, despite being someone that eats a lot

    This is cope.

    There is no such thing as a metabolism that prevents you from gaining weight, only skinny dudes who overestimate how much they eat.

    Go do some heavy deadlifts and drink some milk.

  15. I hit rock bottom. I looked at myself, drunk every day, hating my self inside and out. That was it for me. I decided I was going to do whatever I could to gain weight and put on muscle. I started with just eating 3 good meals a day. 3 eggs and toast in the morning, 3 sandwiches throughout the day at work, a cup of rice and 3-4 chicken thighs for supper. That helped me get a feel for my metabolism, it was fast. I didn’t put on any weight, but I had more energy. Next up was the gym membership, 5 days a week. No excuses.
    I have a long way to go, it’s only been 8 months but I went from 150lb to 170. My body fat is still practically nonexistent but I look like a completely different man. Right now I have to eat around 4000 calories a day because I burn close to 3000 at work alone, there is very little surplus calories on my gym days. You just have to lift heavy and eat, I hate the eating, I feel sick to my stomach eating to much and my god damn bank account is always empty but I know it’s worth it

  16. Coming from an ex skinny man. You can gain weight. You just need to count your calories and eat. I get about 4.25k calories a day and gain about 3 to 4 lbs per month. On very active days it can get up to 5-5250. Gaining weight was both a choice and a necessity as i do my own renovations and don’t have help, and my SO is bougie and keeps buying solid wood Double french doors, or full on frames for her side projects that i have to maneuver with her help(she’s strong, but lol shes like half a helper). We also own 3 acres and a sizeable garden and orchard. Then i got into olympic weightlifting and strong man. Went from 145 to currently 230 at 6’3. Going to shoot for 260 then cut back to 220/230. I currently have an injured malamute that i carry on my back and walk his brother’s(3 malamutes total all about 100lbs) every other day for about 5 miles. Will need to do this for a few months until after his surgery and after he heals up. They are my big ol babies. Life gives you lemons, you get jacked and strong i guess. Or life finds a way.

  17. If you wanna look better you should giveup your sedentry lifestyle and start working out. Eat high carb and protein rich deit.

  18. Always been skinny (fast metabolism) until I decided to start hitting the gym regularly and eat a metric ton of food, more than I wanted. Gained 12 kg/26pounds and now I’m not skinny anymore, even tho I’m not huge either. That or simply accept it and go on with your life, you do you, don’t care about what others think, people will always find something to “teach” you either way.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like