I was just reading a different post that semi related to my question but have heard women say this both on Reddit and irl. This has never happened to me personally but, am just curious I guess.
So, you go on a date with a guy and it’s great. He’s attractive to you, charming, polite, good job, funny, basically ticks all your boxes. Seemingly a great catch. Then the date ends and you kiss. The kiss sucks. OR, you go back to someones place and have sex and the sex was awful. Then you somehow decide there is no “spark” due to one of those things alone?
I mean, I somewhat get it but on the other hand, not everyone is a great kisser or amazing at sex for the first time with someone new. I feel like by rejecting a guy soley based off one of those is incredibly silly to me.
I feel like sex with a new person is ALWAYS awkward and never “the best” with someone new or someone you barely/don’t know. A kiss maybe not so much but, for some it might be.
It seems like too many people these days dismiss amazing people based off of little things that ultimately can, and usually does improve with time. Such as sex and kissing for example.
For example, I got a new car last year and loved everything about it. Perfect fit for me and was a huge upgrade from what I had. The one thing that I didn’t like was how the sound system worked or sounded – at first. The 2 main speakers were in front ON the dash so all the sound was coming from the front rather than the back. I thought something was wrong with it – maybe a setting or something – and realized that’s how it was designed. Now it’s the best sound system I’ve ever had in a car and love it.
Point is, is that I wasn’t crazy about it at first but it grew on me and now it’s amazing. Not the greatest example but that’s what I thought of first lol
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42m here. I only ever dated – and married – based on what my gut told me and what my balls wanted. I never had a reason, could never justify or articulate why I liked the women I did / do. I don’t even have a “type,” really.
Let’s say I dated a woman and we had sex. I wouldn’t be evaluating it like it was a glass of Pinot Noir or something. But hell, we wouldn’t even get that far before I made a decision as to LTR or not.
My wife: I knew almost immediately. I met her a couple times and figured I’d marry her if I could. And hey, here we are, going on 20 years later with an 11 year old and a 10 year old.
I think part of it is just how much faster things happen in our culture now. 50 years ago kissing on a first date was practically unheard of, you got to know each other then the fun stuff happened now with tinder and all the other dating/hook up apps people feel that if its not fire from the first moment oh well on to the next guy/girl. It sucks because i feel like a lot of people are missing out on something special because someone was nervous or maybe not as experienced as the other person.