So we’ve been together for about like 10 months now? We’re a good couple, nobody really expected us to get together but we’ve worked out really well. Fundamentally we’re from different cultures (I’m asian, she’s caucasian), and as a result we have different cultural lifestyles (on top of me being religious while she isn’t). She usually likes to drink with her friends who in the process have become my friends, but I never joined in because I don’t drink. Never really found the appeal especially because of the way I’ve been brought up along with the medical side effects. I don’t judge her for it because who am I to, and she’s been drinking before we even got together. But in the past few months or so a bit of things have happened while she’s gone drinking. So for starters, she kissed another girl, which I didn’t take too much issue with because I trusted her. She also once left hanging out with me and her other friend to go with that friend to another guy’s house to drink (she later said she regretted it because she ditched me). And recently, while intoxicated, she told this guy that we had sex basically. And I mean it really isn’t that big of a deal, like most people wouldn’t mind. But I’ve always been someone who liked to keep things like that to myself because it’s special to me, personal. But the guy she told it to went and told other people in my school, so now quite a few people that I don’t even talk to know. And it isn’t even like it’s the first time he’s spilled secrets, he’s always had a small sort of wishy-washy personality where he trash-talks someone then the next day goes and is all friendly with that guy. So idk i feel like especially since my girlfriend also doesn’t like that people know, that she shouldn’t have told him and idk it’s just kinda her fault. So compounding this with everything else that has happened idk i feel kinda annoyed and i feel like i’m in that “i told you so” position, where I’ve always never been the biggest approver of her going to drink but I’ve never done anything about it bc I’m not gonna change her lifestyle. Do I talk to her about it or do I just leave it?
4 comments
After 10 months it would be assumed.move on . No-one cares, not a big deal
My guy, no one uses their day to think about you having sex, no one gives a fuck, they just talk to talk. Ignore it
Can you see yourself having kids with her? If not you need to leave her alone.
I’d say this is both of you learning how to deal with people and relationships. I think you kinda have the right of ‘I told you so’ here, just phrase it differently. You can talk to her about how talking about personal /relationship matters with other people is not good in some circumstances (eg someone you can’t trust completely). But also, you need to learn how to worry less about what other people think, especially people who are of not much concern to you, about things that aren’t that serious.
To be fair though, the dude has no business talking about your private stuff around with people, it’s none of their business. And your girlfriend should consider who she shares what information with. To me it sounds like unnecessary high school drama thacan be solved with some thinking and talking, but I might have forgotten how being 18 is…