My father has messaged me after almost an entire year of silence saying :
You better need to change my last name becaus you brought disgrace on the family name by being alive with your wrong life style choice (me being gay).
He then goes on about a rant of the will my grandma left saying how i probally manipulated her ect.
Now i wanna keep my family name becaus in all honesty its what my grandmother wouldve wanted.
Today i got a call by the police and they informed me that they have someone thats trying to change my last name with a fake id on him (in my country this counts as id theft).
The police was midst the part of : Saying he got premisssion from …
And i just said i would never change my last name and this was a clear case of id theft.
I got home from work to hear that my father got arrested for id theft and having forged documents on him to make it look like i gave premission.
Any advice on how to ghost my father and his side of the family?
13 comments
What makes it hard for you to ghost them?
It’s easy to ghost them. Change your phone number. Block them on social media. The court case should reduce their urge to contact you and harass you.
You can simply not respond to them, or you can block their phone numbers and social media accounts. If your father continues to harass you it shouldn’t be difficult to get a restraining order against him. Good luck, it definitely sounds like you’re better off without him in your life.
>My father has messaged me after almost an entire year of silence saying : You better need to change my last name becaus you brought disgrace on the family name by being alive with your wrong life style choice (me being gay).
Your response. You better need to change your last name because you brought disgrace on the family by being and ignorant, homophobic, bigot.
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>I got home from work to hear that my father got arrested for id theft and having forged documents on him to make it look like i gave premission.
Yay!
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>Any advice on how to ghost my father and his side of the family?
What is hard about blocking them everywhere? You will probably have to close your socials if they are open to non-friends. But that is not hard.
Tell your homophobic dad” no take-backies” and go no contact.
Go get a really soft & comfy hoodie. Pay to have your last name printed either across the back, or maybe down one sleeve. Then go buy yourself your favourite coffee & chocolate bar. Now go for a nice relaxing walk around enjoying your new treats- walk around town or the park, wherever. It’s your name. Not his. Live your life. Ignore the hatters.
1) Change your phone number.
2) use your father’s arrest to seek a legal restraining order
3) Get a security camera for the front of your home so that if they show up, you have audio and visual evidence that you can use as claims of harassment
4) Eventually move and dont tell anyone where
Honestly annoy them into ghosting you. Whatever they say onthe phone, repeat it back to them, word for word. Texts, the exact same. Or send back a stupid meme or joke. Something that is harmless but annoying, hopefully it will make them realise its not worth it.
Tell him that he has brought shame to the family name for his criminal activities and he should change his last name.
Fraud is a crime is a sin too.
Yeesh. That sounds awful, I’m sorry you’re going through that.
If they routinely harass you then I suggest immediately starting a log of every single time they contact you (including screenshots), when they turn up outside your house, etc. It may never come to it, but this evidence could be useful down the line, if you want to apply for a restraining order.
If possible then a camera system and Ring doorbell (or similar) should be set up around the perimeter of your house too. And a dashcam in your car, in case they go so far as to try to accost you on the road.
Good luck
What country is this?
Best way to ghost someone is do what I did… move overseas. If that’s not feasible… well, just move as far away as you can and ignore them
Edit: Ok, europe cool, and wow I didn’t realize your dad had SERIOUS violence issues. Now he thinks you owe him money because he’s your father??? Keep that abusive jerk as far away from you as possible.
Took a look at your post history just very briefly and saw that your grandmother left you a large sum of money in her will that you planned to give to charity. If you still can, I think your grandmother would fully support you using some of that money to relocate to a completely different town that is far enough from your family that they will leave you alone and you can be safe and comfortable. That would still leave a large amount for charity, but then you are also safe and can live more peacefully. I’m also gay and my home country and some of my family is not accepting, it sucks, but theres nothing you can do to change their mind, you just have to do everything you can to make your life as enjoyable as possible despite those family issues. Do not feel bad for them getting in trouble for trying to harm you and make your life hell, they are grown adults and know what the consequences of those actions are. The fact that you are gay does not mean that they should be excused of the consequences. I’m sorry for everything that you’re having to deal with, I hope they leave you alone.
Your father is absolutely crazy and I’m sorry he acts that way.
I hope you wear that last name with pride just to spite this man. Now that he got arrested… maybe he will calm down?