TLDR; Let me preface this by saying I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and Generalized Anxiety. I suffer a great deal of social anxiety due to the trauma I have faced throughout life and childhood bullying. I’m also Neurodivergent as well. I was told at the age of 10 I had ADD.
I believe…no I KNOW I am the most hated person at my job. I’ve had jokes made in front of my face. It was at me but I knew it was about me. For example, a joke was made between two people, Person A(let’s call him Mark) says “Ugh person B(let’s call him Sam) Sam you are always in the way” “You are so annoying and no one likes you” “we wish you would just leave”. Mind you ‘Sam’ is one of the most liked people at my job. Another example is when ‘Sara’ tells ‘Matthew’ How his personality doesn’t vibe the whole store and that no one likes him. Again ‘Matthew’ is well like. I was talking to these people when the jokes were made. It’s their of basically telling me I’m an annoying piece of shit that no one likes and everyone wants to go. I’m so weird that I’ve had shoot’em(mass shooter) up jokes thrown at me, I don’t own a gun and I would never commit mass murder. Crazy how being quiet or awkward get you labeled a potential mass shooter. I’ve been called retarded, stupid, etc.
I tried to go to my store manager about it and he told me it was in my head. He treats me like shit as well. I can’t even go to the head person in HR because she even hates me now. I’ve stuck up a creek without a paddle.
People avoid me. People talk rudely about me. People always groan when they see me coming, and they mention how they hate me. Every new person I meet ends up turning against me. Like as soon as I’m seen talking to someone and we are cool the others get to them and turn them against me. All I ever did was try to be outgoing and nice regardless of my anxiety and this is always the result. I. AM. MISERABLE!
These people don’t mind me doing them favors because I am good at my job and do my work but I am also rarely appreciated for it. It’s like once you are socially undesirable your humanity is stripped away. Every positive thing that you do angers them and every mistake you make is magnified.
It’s mostly millennials and Gen Z that act this way at my job. Yeah, the so-called woke generations who are inclusive and care about mental health.. how ironic.
This problem follows me so yeah it’s something I need to work on. I don’t know what to do. I’m a good person with potential but I’m treated like garbage. This adds to the trauma and makes me not want to even have friends or relationships… I just need advice.
7 comments
People in general just treat people with autism or any type of disorder like shit, and being a quiet person doesn’t help with that either. Don’t take it personally because this is more of a reflection of how fucked up they perceive people who are less than them. It has nothing to do with you, I promise that you are not a bad person.
Plus, my generation (Gen Z) is very self-centered and toxic to other people because they’re used to saying things without consequences on the internet. That’s probably why they do talk about mental health issues.
Could you switch jobs? Sucks this is happening to you.
I feel like I could have written this, it mirrors my whole life.
Leave this toxic workplace. Find a company that values people. A good manager will protect their team. They’ll encourage staff to build each other up with their words instead of tear them down. This company doesn’t deserve your time or your effort. Find a place where you’ll be appreciated, loved, respected, etc. And make sure you rate them on glass door and google reviews so people know the kind of company (and people) they are. Good luck. So sorry this happened to you…
No clue. Sounds like future me. But I know that if you quit, you can’t claim EI. If they fire you without justification, you can sue them. That’s why they’re bullying you, maybe.
I’m a Gen Z and yes I’ve admitted to being a bully before, but I wouldn’t judge people based on a their generation. We are self centered people but it also makes it easier for us to be bullied as well. To be honest though generation doesn’t have a lot to do with it. When I was in school cause I was quiet, weird, and had mental health issues, I was seen as a target for bullying. Even now every now and then, but just keep telling yourself that it only happens cause there’s either like I said before you’re an easy target, or simply it’s a sign of an internal issue they have themselves or simply they’re tired of your ways.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
How do you feel about telling people that you’re on the autism spectrum?
If you are comfortable disclosing that information, next time someone says something unkind, you could address them directly:
“I know I’m different from most people. I know I’m quiet and my social skills aren’t very good. I’m on the autism spectrum, and that makes social interaction difficult. It makes me different from most people. That being said, one way that I’m the same as other people is that I have feelings. When you make comments like this, it’s hurtful. You don’t have to like me. You can think I’m weird. However, I would appreciate it if you would treat me the way you want to be treated. You probably wouldn’t appreciate it if someone directed comments like this at you.
“I know I make social errors, but I try to be considerate of people around me. If I do something that seems otherwise, it’s because I don’t realize it’s a problem. You can tell me if I mess up. Take me aside and tactfully explain the error, and tell me what I should do instead.
“I try not to offend people. I wouldn’t knowingly say something hurtful to anyone. Please afford me the same courtesy.”
I don’t know if they’ll change their behavior. Some people are just like that.
If you have a documented diagnosis, you could ask HR for reasonable accommodations. If you have a therapist, they might be able to help you define what you need. I don’t know how to address this in accommodations. I’m just floating ideas.
Could you go to HR with a solution in mind? You could report the bullying, and suggest that giving employees training about bullying and/or about neurodiversity.
It’s a tough one.