My ex \[22M\] and I \[23F\] have dated for about 10 months now and we ended our relationship on good terms initially. I was the one who decided to end it and he did not want to do so but I was assertive because I had my own personal reasons linked to my rough childhood.
At first, he disregarded my reasons and then later understood them and agreed to break up. After 2 days he called me up and yelled at me for breaking up with him and said I was selfish for not consulting him about my choice to end it and that I was ‘doing him dirty’. I told him I need space and that he can’t force me into being with him and he calmed down after yelling at me for 3+ hours and apologized the next day.
The problem is, he has not been giving me the space that I need. He is constantly texting me or calling me even when I’ve made it clear to him that I’m not in the headspace to talk and to respect it but he doesn’t. He keeps saying he misses me and our relationship and wants me back. Idk how to convince him to move on from me or to stop talking to me at least.
TL’DR: My \[23F\] ex-boyfriend \[22M\] (dated for 10 months) does not want to move on from our relationship and is constantly texting/calling me despite my requests for him to stop. How do I handle this situation?
3 comments
Give him a warning that you will block his number if he keeps trying to contact you and then if he breaks that block his number.
If you got on well with his family you may want to talk to them to help stop him contacting you
You need to be more direct.
> I had my own personal reasons linked to my rough childhood.
This is just a version of the old “it’s not you, it’s me” cliché. You can’t expect him to understand when you haven’t communicated honestly. Tell him the truth:
“I don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore. It’s over and we aren’t getting back together. I like my life better without you in it.”
^this is a much different message than “I need time alone to work on myself. I need this time to heal from childhood trauma.”
You have been telling him that you want to be in a relationship with him but scars from your childhood are preventing that from happening. He thinks that you’re still in love with him and want the relationship to continue. Which isn’t the message that you want him to hear.
Block him. You’re the one who keeps choosing to respond to him.