Woman of reddit who left a non abusive relationship to find themselves, what does that mean and what did you find? what did you learn / how did it change you?

2 comments

1. [removed]

2. I have been “finding myself” since my early 20s through therapy and recovering a lost childhood. For context: my therapist says I was parentified for having a special needs sibling and the way my parents were dealing with that. As a result, I learned to put myself last and I ended up with a burn out in my early 20s.

   I left my last non abusive relationship because I realised I was putting in way more effort than my partner was, a direct effect of my upbringing. Even though I want to date, I think I shouldn’t for a while. I’m not going to live my life like that again. I want equal emotional effort in a relationship, or it’s not worth it to me. I love my job and I don’t mind cleaning, but if it’s a choice between having to take care of myself or myself ***and*** someone else, I would rather be alone.