I’m sexually attracted to someone who doesn’t listen to my sexual desires

Hi there, not gonna go into detail about age and stuff cause I don’t want this traced back to me. Since exploring different sexual ideas and concepts, I’ve realized I have to have a mental connection with someone before I have sex with them.

So one night stands and hookups aren’t my thing

I’ve been with the same guy sexually for almost 2 years. I honestly don’t know now if I can say likewise for him because of new info I found out, but that’s another story for another day. And I absolutely adored who he was when we first met…

But he’s changed and not for the better. Yet im still very attracted to who he once was I guess and I still love having sex with him. Sometimes

So the problem comes whenever I asked him for sex or head, I kinda have to beg in a way cause I have certain expectations for the night. In this situation I feel like the dominant one and I hate it. Prime example

Me and him literally just finished having sex, I didn’t get head so I sucked his nipples to get him hard and hoping he’d do the same to turn me on. Nope nothing. He stuck it in dry, now I’m laying here in pain and he went to sleep. He finished, I forced myself to because it was hurting
He said I was extremely tight, much tighter than normal and it makes me wonder does he think that’s a good thing… as bad as I’ve fallen head over heels for this man, it’s beginning to bother me how he’ll dismiss my desires but insistent that I satisfy his desires
Idk I need advice I guess on how to convey what I want sexually without need to ask for it