Genuinely speaking, I’m considered attractive but I don’t get asked out. And then I see some women who are below average that are married or in relationships and wonder why.
And before anyone says it, I have a nice personality too: I’m honest, hardworking, educated, and have a sense of humor.
My only flaw is I don’t go out much. I am a homebody.
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Men are usually expect to be the ones asking people out.
Women usually show interest in you by engaging you and throwing obvious green signals out but often still expect you to pop the question.
[Maybe it’s the way you’re dressed.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOxn2wKfxPM)
Two possible reasons.
First, you aren’t nearly as attractive as you think you are.
Second, you don’t put yourself out there in a way where you can be asked out. Hard to find a partner if you never leave your house.
Hmmm, Should we consider personality in this situation or you don’t wanna talk about it?
Try Tinder, you’ll be drowning in attention.
If you’re a homebody then you’re not as likely to come across someone who will ask you out.
Some people like myself usually don’t like approaching girls when going about their life because they don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.
Lastly I’m not saying this necessarily applies to you, but in my experience people who claim to have a great personality and wonder why people don’t like them are often not great people. Like I said though, might not apply to you as I know nothing about you.
Can’t ask you out if you’re sitting at home.
1. Men face constant messaging that approaching women in public is the 8th deadly sin.
2. You might have a mean resting bitch face and throw off the opposite of approachable vibes
Not much you can really do besides put yourself in situations widely considered okay to approach women. (basically only bars or clubs) or start asking dudes out.
If you really are as hot, smart, and hardworking as you say then you probably seem unapproachable to the guys around you. Guys don’t want to put themselves through a gargantuan crucible. They’d rather coast on easy mode with the more approachable girls. After all, guys see themselves as the breadwinners so it doesn’t matter how educated and hardworking you are in the long-term because they will be doing all of the work. It just makes you higher maintenance. (You might not actually be high maintenance but if you are extremely successful they will assume that you are a handful.)
Sounds like you’re over valuing yourself and staying cooped up isn’t doing you any favors either
To most ( cis) men, the most attractive thing about a woman is the perceived receptiveness to him approaching. To restate this, men are hurt by rejection, if they perceive a high potential for rejection, they approach someone else. If you are as attractive to men as you believe , then somehow you are giving the appearance of being “unapproachable “. Without more information I can’t dig any deeper.
If your very attractive a lot of, quality, men might leave you alone on the assumption you get way more male attention than you want.
I’ve heard names for this weird quirk of things but I’m drawing a blank on them at the moment.
I think one of them was “Jerk…. something” Where only jerk guys attract very attractive women.
More likely though its that if you don’t meet people you don’t meet potential partners.
It seems you know the answer to this and want us to perform magic. Go out more
>My only flaw is I don’t go out much. I am a homebody.
There was a guy a couple weeks ago with a similar situation. The fact of the matter is that dating is about going out. The opposite of being a homebody. So to date more you either have to go out more or meet people online basically.
A friend of mine has the same struggle. He’s attractive, funny, rich and smart. But he’s working exclusively from home and when he travels he never gets asked out. I observed him for a while and noticed it’s bc he doesn’t make an effort to look approachable. He has longer hair that falls in his face and likes to wear caps and since he’s tall but shy he slouches, which makes his face disappear under his cap. He looks down while walking and when we sit in bars or restaurants his body language is tense and screams uncomfortable. Bottom line is people who are home a lot tend to have a more unapproachable or uncomfortable body language in public, resulting in others not daring to talk to them even if they do think they’re attractive. Maybe that’s your issue too
But to be fair I’ve noticed people don’t really approach each other in public anymore ever since covid happened so that could also be a factor
Here’s a long shot
Try asking people who you find attractive out
There’s no law stating that you have to be asked out
You sure that’s your only flaw?
You’re either not as attractive as you think you are, or you just haven’t been social enough in environments where you can be asked out in the first place.
Well, one obvious thing is you won’t get asked out sitting on your couch at home. You should consider going to places where the type of guy you want to meet would go -don’t go to a bar if you want a non-drinker, for example.
One other thing to consider…there’s more to attraction than looks. It’s possible you aren’t coming off as “approachable” in some way. If you see a guy you might like, start talking to him to give him an opening- the modern day equivalent of dropping the handkerchief to allow him to hand it to you kind of thing. Guys have been told by society that women don’t want to be approached, so they’re not. You may need to open the door first.
Are you 100% sure that’s your only flaw?
How do you smell? Also got a pic for us to judge for ourselves?
You have to go out. Also, too attractive is unapproachable. I would only be approaching g her because she’s hot. I know that. She knows that. I won’t waste my time
Idk depends on age.. when i was a cute boy i was swimming in girls. Or at least had no problem to have bonds very easy with not much thinking. Now i am like you sitting at home when not at work and gaming. Im not as cute anymore and had acne as a teen. So its also age and area..my last relationship was in my early teens. After that none. I dont even have girls as friends. And the ones i had i ditched as well as my buddies. Why? Addiction and isolation. Im trying to figure out life since all the attempts on being good at something and getting paid for it have failed. And life is hard and expensive. So maybe thats the phase you are in too. You are probably now more attractive than me, so making bonds should be easy for you..
Go ask some guys out. It is a two way street.
Physical attraction is not the only factor that people consider when deciding to date someone. People have different preferences and different things that they find attractive. And you, my dear, are a unique and beautiful woman with a lot to offer.
It’s possible that there are a variety of factors contributing to the fact that you are not getting asked out yet. Timing, social circle, confidence and signals may play a role in this. But, I want to remind you that you are not alone in this journey. You should focus on enjoying your life, being happy with yourself, and the right person will come along eventually.
Don’t compare yourself to others, everyone’s journey is different. Believe in yourself and your own worth. Keep putting yourself out there, and don’t be afraid to take the initiative and ask someone out. Remember that true confidence and self-assurance comes from within, not from external validation. Keep working on yourself and loving yourself, and you will find the perfect partner who will appreciate you for who you are.
One thing I’ve realized women can’t self evaluate themselves a 3 thinks they’re a 10 and for personality I don’t trust your self assessment
Four things come to mind. ( I don’t know anything about you so these are generalizations based on attractive women I have dated.)
One, your bitch shield is too strong and you don’t even realize it.
Two, your standards are too high and you’re only paying attention to certain people who meet your criteria. That’s a slightly different version of the bitch shield.
Three, you’re not as interesting as you think you are. There are a lot of very attractive women out there who think they are interesting because men talk to them. In some situations that has nothing to do with how interesting they are and everything to do with how attractive they are.
Four, you really are as attractive as you say you are and most of the men youmeet are intimidated by you. If that is the case, you’re going to have to show some signs of Interest if you find yourself having a conversation with someone you want to date.
If you aren’t out in public, it’s nearly impossible to get asked out. Being attractive doesn’t necessarily make you approachable either. There are layers to dating, and we’ll need to peel these back bit by bit.
How could you be “attractive” when you never get asked out? Attractive means people want to be around you, spend time with you, get to know you. If you mean you’re pretty, maybe you are, that’s subjective, pretty is never enough to mean attractive by default. Based on your post and comment history you don’t actually sound like a fun person to be around. You sound boring and serious like you said so yourself.
Also why don’t you try asking someone out if you’re not getting asked out?
I read somewhere men are Intimidated by attractive women.
Also I automatically assume when I see someone attractive they are already taken.
“My only flaw is I don’t go out much. I am a homebody.”
Well that’s not your only flaw.(I’m really hoping that the OP is joking with that above comment)
But anyway not going out and staying home IS going to prevent guys from asking you out.
You’re also probably not as attractive as you think.
Could be your body language as well. Men may look at you and see that you look uncomfortable or disinterested.
It may also not be dressed attractive for the type of man that you want to approach you.
You may have a “Resting Bitch Face”. No man is going to want to approach a woman that looks angry or annoyed.
Now I know that you’re not going to do it BUT a thing you could do is approach the type of men that you are interested in.
It’s the same thing with me, it’s most likely the society we are in. Best thing to do is to work on your self, be patient and don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
Two things: Agree with the put yourself out there comments. Pick something YOU enjoy, and it might take a few tries to find a ratio to work with. However, you might rethink your “below average” comment. Comes off as elitist. Personally, that’s a NO if I hear that attitude. ✌
Eh, could be 1 of many reasons or a mix….
Most guys dont know how to talk to women. Most guys are scared to ask out attractive women. Most guys get demoralized after being automatically considered creeps and rejected hard if they dont meet a woman’s standards at 1st glance…. etc.
Go on dating apps or find a hobby that gets you out of the house consistently and around the same group of adults.
Do you get lots of stares when you go to the grocery store? Do men frequently say weird things to you on public transit? Do people hold the door open a lot for you? Give you compliments?
If you’re not saying yes to at least a few of the above you’re probably not as attractive as you hoped. If you are saying yes, you might be a level of attractive that acts as a bit of a deterrent. I’ve seen it plenty, the hottest woman out of a group at a bar doesn’t get asked to dance because she’s too intimidating.
If you’re still struggling after finding reasons to be out of your house? You probably need to come back for more advice
You could be coming across as intimidating esp if you’re not the bubbly extrovert type. You do sound a little intense
Try Bumble. You’d have to be willing to sift thru tons of profiles to find what you’re looking for and do the approaching yourself
Um, did I read you right when you wrote:
>My only flaw is I don’t go out much. I am a homebody.
I think you forgot to identify a flaw. Lemme help – a second flaw that is pretty obvious is the fact that you write sentences like:
>My only flaw is I don’t go out much. I am a homebody.
I mean – sure – *Ego Tripping (There might be a reason why)* but really – are you Nikki Giovanni? Maybe you are – and yet, I’m still pretty sure we’re not supposed to say things like this out loud:
>My ***only flaw*** is I don’t go out much.
No? I’m open to being wrong & would love for you to reason it out for me. I welcome your erudition.
I’m too
Well, are you funny?
>I’m honest, hardworking, educated, and have a sense of humor.
>My only flaw is I don’t go out much.
Guys don’t care about that stuff. Those are things women care about.
Your only flaw? Really? This whole post makes you sound full of yourself.