I know my last post on here was pretty controversial, but believe it or not he and I have been seeing each other for quite some time now. I really, really like him, but man does dating ever take a toll on my mental health. I get so insecure and in my head about things, jumping to conclusions if his tone changes even slightly or if I don’t hear from him for a while. I wouldn’t ever share this with him because I know it’s all on me and he doesn’t deserve to feel like he’s doing something wrong. I’ve always been this way, getting super infatuated to a point where I’m distracted in all other parts of my life. And then I overthink, and overthink, and overthink until I don’t even know what I think anymore. Does anyone have any advice when it comes to feeling secure about yourself in a relationship?
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I feel this so much. Everytime I meet someone new, who I like, I get really excited and my emotions take me for a rollercoaster ride. The thing is, it’s not healthy and can set you up for all sorts of issues. Besides getting yourself all worked up into a knot of emotions, your partner can almost certainly sense it, which can be a big red flag or at least a turnoff. As such, you gotta really work to hold it down. It’s hard, but keeping busy and distracted helps. Also taking some time away from each other is good. The space helps to calm the nerves and get you back to a rational state of mind. Lastly, it’s a good idea to ask yourself why you are insecure. Is there something painful in your past? Are you afraid of rejection or “failure”? Do you feel insecure normally or about your other relationships with friends? Finding the answer and the potential source of your insecurity is a good first step to overcoming it now and in the future. If necessary, getting professional counseling may be a good idea as well. Otherwise, talking it out with friends or family does wonders.
Slow down and take your time.