I am a 16 year old [M] I’m typically quiet, and I don’t bother people, but I noticed that the more you say “extroverted’ people like to ask me things like, “bro you have a gf?’ someone said to me this morning and pointed to a random girl and said, ‘go and tap that’ which is nasty to say to a random person, guys just like to ask me very sexual and off putting questions! I’ve seen this happen to other guys too, and I don’t understand why they do this it is so fuckin weird. Anybody experience this?

23 comments

  1. They’re clowning you which is what a fair amount of guys do. It’s a thing. If a guy told me to “tap that,” I’d say something like “Naw. I’m good. You go ahead,” or “Naw. I’m too lazy.” Basically you just brush off what they’re telling you to do. I don’t like people telling me what to do or dropping a challenge on me because they think I can’t succeed. Screw that. Not gonna play their game.

  4. I’d say it’s fairly common, especially amongst teen boys, and the best response is “nah” and if they are being disrespectful towards women then call them out on it if you want

  5. Get used to perverted jokes as that’s basically the lingua franca of young adult guys.

    As a teen, I was kind of the same way as you are now. I didn’t get the jokes and thought it was creepy.

    Here’s the thing; it’s usually not meant to be serious. For example, by pushing that envelope, it can make things that might be unthinkably awkward more comfortable. EG: “I’m just asking her out. It’s not like I’m asking to ‘tap that'”. It can also just be absurdist, over-the-top humor. There’s a chance that it *isn’t* a joke, but that really depends on the context: who is saying the line? Who else is paying attention? What was his tone? What was the conversation about until now? Who is the girl? What are the relationship dynamics involved? Etc.

    You don’t have to talk that way. But it doesn’t hurt to engage. Consider treating the words “tap that” as “go ask her out,” for example. If the person meant his comment that way, no problems. If the guy meant to be lewd, then he’d have to explain it and that’d likely suck the fun out of it. (Sort of like the strategy of asking someone making a racist/sexist joke to explain the joke to you.)

    Worst case scenario, say “no thanks, I got your mom on speed dial.”

  6. Awh. Darlin, you’re too pure and sweet for this world. I mean that completely sincerely.

    You can be like “nah, I’m good”. Or you can gently make fun of them.

    They’re just horny and don’t know how to deal with it. Sorry that you have to put up with teenage boys being bleh.

    But you’re not the only one in your peer group who feels this way and I imagine you’re more capable of having real friendships with people of the opposite sex.

  8. Fairly common. I’ve been exposed to various locker room talk that offended me to different degrees. Generally grossed me out, but less so as time has gone on. I must be getting jaded.

  9. Yeah I’ve had this before, it’s quite common for some reason. Whenever I’m in this situation I say “no” unless I obviously have a girlfriend at the time

  11. I commend you for your maturity at your age. Most boys your age aren’t quite so conscious. Consider yourself a step ahead of most! Keep working you’ll make it quite decent out here for sure

  12. Somebody one told me to rizz a girl up and I said nah but they kept telling me to get her and it was weird so no you aren’t alone in this mate

  13. This is just how dudes are, you’re thinking too much about it. It’s just typical fucking around. No o e expects you to go tap it, he’s probably expecting a smart ass reply. It’s fun and kills time.

  14. Yeah it’s taking me a long time to realize how nasty men can be with each other. I hope you can find friends that are not like this.

  15. You sound like a good person, fwiw! Appreciate the sensitivity to the girls in question potentially overhearing and feeling uncomfortable.

  16. They’re clowning you bro, the more you get offended by it the more they’ll target you. Just laugh it off.

  17. As you keep in touch with society you’ll find out it’s actually very common I didn’t like it ether but there’s times when one have to become bulgar in order avoid trying to get you into it,, I’m 35 yo I don’t even care anymore..

  19. My first mechanics job my noses friend was there and the first thing he said to was “do you masterbate?” I was 17 and he was in his late 30s

  20. I don’t think they’re trying to be mean. It’s normal to ask sexual questions because most men are horny and want to talk about girls. Just don’t take it personally

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