There’s this one guy in my friend group who seems to hate me for absolutely no reason, I’ve been nothing but nice to him and at this point I’m kinda just putting it down to homophobia but he’s just always a dick making little comments whenever I speak and I don’t know what else I can do to get him to like or atleast tolerate me?
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Address it with him. If that doesn’t work, address it with the group. If that doesn’t work, either ignore it or find new friends.
You can’t get everyone to like you, it’s simply not possible. Some people are just arseholes.
Every time he says something, pretend (in your head) that he really likes you and wants your attention. So treat the comment that way. Turn to him, give him a big smile, “THANKS, dude, I’m FEELING ya!” or “I KNOW, right?” or “You’re my biggest FAN, maybe you can COACH me!” etc.
No this won’t endear him to you, but it’ll show confidence in the face of snarkiness. And it’s hard to respond well to JOY in the face of RUDENESS.
Just my opinion.
Pull them aside, 1 on 1 and ask him if he has a problem with you. When he inevitably says no, ask him why he says homophobic comments to you, why he’s a general dick to you.
At best, he may realize that his “I’m just messing with you” isn’t coming off that way and is unwelcome. At worst, hell have to explain his shitty behavior which he can’t justify.
Usually this’ll be enough for most people like this to change their behavior.
If not, you can always escalate your response in group chat and get some sweet peer pressure.
“Tyler, respectfully I pulled you aside a while ago and asked you if we had a problem and asked you to stop saying ‘youre so gay.’ You said at that time you were sorry and would stop, but here we are a few weeks later with you doing it again. I don’t appreciate it, what will it take for you to stop?”
Treat him how he treats you. Sometimes you just can’t be nice to assholes. I don’t like being rude to people but sometimes I have to.
I’ve been nothing but polite to a coworker of mine, but he doesn’t like me (I don’t know why), and he’s pretty clear about it. He doesn’t seem very friendly with anyone though, he’s quiet. His roommates (coworkers) don’t like him.
Just in front of everyone bait him into saying something that can imply he’s gay that worked in my case
You don’t do anything. However he chooses to feel about you, unexpressed, lives in a dark corner of his soul and it is not any of your concern to pry, or “fix” it. So you ignore it, and you go on living, and one day…they’ll either tell you how they feel because they noticed you don’t care, or stop hating you altogether.
Hope this helps and good luck.
Stop making the effort to be nice. Pretend he’s not there.
Stop trying thats his problem. There is nothing you can do to change the situation. His problem is that he feels your vibe and he is insecure. Don’t ever let people like that affect your life
You can’t likely change his feelings, but start calling him out in front of the group when he does that crap, and you might manage to change his behavior.
99% of the time you can’t get someone to stop hating you.
Once I used to hang out with a guy in high school, I absolutely did NOT like him, which was kinda sad, because he seemed to really like me, be attached to me and was pretty nice to me. I mostly stuck around him out of pity because he had no friends. I really tried to like him, but I just couldn’t, it drained my energy to be around him and I’m glad we went our separate ways after that year.
Simply put, if someone doesn’t like you, I don’t think you can make them stop hating you. That’s on them, not you.
Now, there’s a big **BUT** here. That guy I mentioned, I didn’t like him, **but** I was never an asshole to him. You can’t control your emotions but you can control how you express them. You can’t make this guy in your group stop hating you, but you can (try) to make him stop being an asshole to you. Because it takes one asshole to ruin a friend a group, no matter how much you like the rest of them, avoiding toxic people is your first priority. Talk to your group about this guy’s behavior and try to come to an understanding that he must stop acting this way or you simply won’t stand being around them when this guy is around.
If there is no particular reason like something you said or did, there is really no point in trying to stop hating you since he dosent want to adress it, he just validates himself and makes you fun for something he thinks about you. Just ignore him or say “fuck off”, that can help sometimes lmao
Perversely, stop being nice to him. He won’t respect you ever if you keep sucking up.
He is jealous of you, whenever he again do that just say something like i lose respect for you or whatever they say about is true. It hurts their ego and they try to reflect upon it or hate you now till core.
It’s not your problem .. it’s his problem .. it’s not your burden to bear .. there is nothing wrong with you .. stop being a people pleaser .. you will not be everybody’s cup of tea and that’s OK .. you be you and your don’t have to try to get assholes and people who are committed to misunderstand you on purpose, to like you .. period !! Keep loving yourself and keep ignoring the haters
Chat with about common interest and ask for small favours