Can anyone here who has had a hysterectomy, or are the partner of someone who, has talk about how it has affected sex and pleasure?
She still has her ovaries, but her cervix was removed. She always got a lot of pleasure from her anterior fornix area being stimulated, and I’m worried that may be gone now.
My wife had hers several months ago, and sex is still causing us some issues, so she’s obviously still healing, so we just aren’t doing it very much yet, so I don’t know how things will ultimately shake out yet.
It seems like her vagina is shallower since the surgery and also shrinking somewhat from not having sex, which also worries me a bit since I consider myself a bit bigger than average. My girth / her tightness only is an issue at first and then seems okay as we get going, but I’m definitely “bottoming out” even more easily than before during the times we’ve had sex since her surgery and that’s causing her some discomfort. I’m a little worried I won’t ever be able to go in all the way like before, since we have always both liked the more hard pounding sex at times.
Anyone had these sort of issues? Did they resolve over time? Thanks for any help.
EDIT – just to be clear, the health and safety of my wife and here vagina are the #1 important thing for us, and we’re being cautious, but we also miss sex, and want to get back to where we were.
4 comments
[deleted]
My ex wife had one done, and if anything, our sex life improved after having it done. She had it done to get rid of very painful periods, and once that wasn’t an issue anymore our sex life flourished as she wasn’t in pain.
Sex wise I didn’t notice a difference really, other than not being able to feel her cervix when I was fingering her.
I did take a few months for her to be ready to have sex, but after that we had no problems.
I had one and for me the pain that has stopped and the fact I don’t have to worry about a pregnancy and that there aren’t unexpected unavailable days has me IN A MOOD! I’m now 15 months post surgery and have had enough different sexual partners to feel confident I know my new plumbing, I’m single with no trusted partner, so your other half having you is a big win I’d say.
I have a few insights, these are particular to me, pick and choose the advice that helps you
I was really anxious about putting anything inside me, my Dr said 90 days and I had a countdown on my phone, tried a vibrator and got a symptom…. panicked and called the Dr about it, then got scared for another month!!! Dr explained the stitch type and all good, just scratched my stitches
The next time was not a problem at all, getting over that anxiety around having anything in at all was a HUGE mental hurdle
Before I met with a guy I wanted to know for myself how long is the hole if I don’t have a cervix, I tried asking the Dr and he didn’t answer and I don’t think got the point of my question.
So I used a vibrator with penis extensions on it to find out, super slow and really scientific… I recommend doing it to yourself not having it done by a partner, and concentrating on feeling what is possible.
To the partner, for me I could feel the end, I now know exactly how long “fits” but then also if I thrust how much stretch there is that feels good before the stretch changes and it doesn’t feel good.
To understand, stick a finger inside your cheek and push out, it’s fine for a second and then it’s not fine and then it hurts….
I told the first guy I hooked up with that I had surgery and I was concerned but the Dr said good to go, the guy was super sweet about it so that helped
I would say the length has had minimal impact, every now and then a guy pushes too far with a toy and I tell him to back it up, but with a regular partner all you have to do is learn that depth of your favourite toys
I’ve hooked up with one guy whose length erect exactly matched the start of my stretch point when I was sitting on top and sitting still on him was insanely fun… so the sweet spot on the stretch is a fun place to play if you communicate about it
Other than that my angles that feel great have changed, I’ve really enjoyed exploring that… but the guys I’ve met this side of surgery aren’t the guys from before, they wouldn’t have a clue what my angles used to be…. but I used to hate doggy and now I love it…. to the person who had the surgery, explore some of the positions you didn’t used to think hit fun spots and see of they changed!
I had psych sessions about the grief to process to have my hysterectomy and also osteopathy sessions for physical recovery and both of those health professionals with my Dr and my GP are on my care team, I have also been checking in with all of them about sex and exploration and the physical and mental parts of getting back in the game, I highly rate the person who had the surgery getting the medical team in private chats at appointments about anything so that the advice is particular to you, sounds like we had the same surgery as far as billing codes, but we all know there’s no way it’s the same in our two bodies. To the partner it seems like you’ve already got the support thing down well so I’m not going to recommend any external chats because a psych for a partner is only helpful if they don’t know how to support and communicate.
Lastly being able to live my life permanently pain free has made me far more able to accept the joy… I’m hornier than ever! Hope that bit hit the person who had the surgery the same way
I had a total hysterectomy, so no ovaries left. I supplement hormones with HRT, pellets. I’m about 3 years post op.
She is definitely still healing at this point. Plus, her hormones might be all over the place. I would say be infinitely patient. Use more lube. Take things slowly.
The HRT (estrogen and testosterone) are a huge help. The testosterone makes me crazy horny. So I’m that way, our sex life is drastically improved. But we also have no kids at home anymore. So many more opportunities and possibilities!!