How often is it the case that the man more generous with his money does better in dating and relationships compared to ones that are very frugal with money?

17 comments

1. It’s not about money. It’s about charisma and swallowing the fear you get when you want to go talk to an attractive woman.

   I been broke as fuck most of my entire life…but I have always excelled in the dating scene

2. Depends on your definition of successful… I know a guy that throws money at women and has many hollow relationships… But I tend to frown on a woman expecting things so I have only had a few meaningful relationships

3. The majority of women like a man who is gladly “willing” to spend money on them. Who doesn’t like nice things. Although some women are the opposite and actually don’t like it.

4. I’ve noticed the more money you spend on a woman the more she will expect lavish gifts and dates. She will use you more, rather than love you for you. However being stingy isn’t good either. Find the balance between the two.

5. Generosity is not just about money.

   People who are generous in nature…with their time, their effort, their affection – people who give of themselves freely tend to get on well with others. Shouldn’t come as a surprise

   One needs to be mindful their generosity isn’t taken for granted or advantage of and avoid people who only want to take from others.

   The solution is not to be a tightwad paranoid everyone wants your money. The solution is to keep your eyes open for those who don’t seem to appreciate and/or feel entitled to your generosity.

   “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!”

   So I have zero issues being generous with people. But if I get the vibe it’s not appreciated or reciprocated – I shut that down for that person – they are done!

   Most people are decent. Most people want to give and receive. It’s the occasional selfish asshole you want to avoid rather than being Mr Scrooge in life.

6. I’ve always hated the notion that we have to spend money on our dates for the privilege of dating them. Women are grown as people too who can take care of themselves and pay for their own shit. I’ll do birthday gifts and things like that but don’t rely on me to pay for someone else’s lifestyle.

   And NO WAY IN FUCKING HELL am I paying for someone’s vacation unless we’re married or in the kind of relationship where we may as well be.

7. So, you can absolutely buy affection. It is for sale in every form. There are prostitutes who will give you physical affection for straight cash, and there are women out there who deny they are prostitutes who will give you physical affection for a Gucci bag. There are confusing prostitutes out there who have a set amount in their head that you have to spend on dinner before they’ll f*** you, and there are gold diggers out there who will drain you of every dollar you have well metering out affection and just large enough doses so that you don’t move on.

   There are also women out there looking for a financially literate and stable partner who don’t mind if you spend a little money on them, but are much more interested on how your foundations are set up for a long-term living scenario.

   There are also women who are not interested in what you make at all, they are 100% interested in who you are and what you want and feel and value in life. They are secure in their own financial status, and they have no designs on yours.

   I often tell people there are plenty of fish in the sea, but you’re only going to catch what you go fishing for. If you are dangling a line out there with a certain type of bait on the hook, you may occasionally catch a fish you’re not looking for, but more often than not you’re going to catch what you’re after. If you’re fishing swordfish you’re gonna run a colorful fake squid about two miles offshore, if you’re fishing catfish you’re gonna stick some stinkbait in a pantyhose and drop it in a muddy river.

   If you’re looking for a girl who cares about money, dangle that money out there, they will bite like hotcakes. If you’re looking for a girl who cares about you, maybe make the dates more about talking and bonding then how much you spend.

8. It depends on the significant others love language.

   There is legit one language called “receiving gifts”. If your dating a girl like that and your generous. You’re good to go

   [These are the rest if you’re interested](https://www.healthline.com/health/love-languages#types)

9. It’s pretty shallow but yeah, women do like it. Or at the very least being financially stable. But even then you get women often posting demanding why he doesn’t spend his money on her.

   At the same time I do think there’s shades of grey to this. For example she may want you to splurge on experiences (trips, hotels, events etc) but maybe not as much on objects (jewelry, clothes, other gifts etc).

10. Neither

11. I mean I like to think I’m frugal but I understand buying gifts as well as paying on trips especially on special occasions like her bday or holidays

    However even if I’m on a family trip I hate cheap hostels bc it’s uncomfortable as hell

    The only way that dude will be in a relationship is if he meets someone just as frugal as him

    Nothing wrong with that in general but that’ll be difficult as hell to find is all I’m saying ^

12. I’ve lost several dates right from the start by coming off as cheap. But not to the extreme of that “one guy” who has never taken a date out to eat. For me it was just commenting on how expensive a steak is. That turned one woman off pretty quickly.

    Young women want a man to be generous with his money. Especially if she’s not necessarily looking for a husband. Though that changes later in life when she realizes there’s more financial security in the long run with a man who is more frugal. Basically the first man a woman marries will be exciting and generous with his money guy… and then that marriage fails (very often over money) and she settles down with the safer, more frugal guy later.

13. 100%.

    Women dislike frugality in general, but in the early stages of courting and dating, even more.

14. There is a point at either end of the spectrum where it is going to be a turn off for most women. Being free with one’s money seems fine but most women will see that as a liability in a longer term relationship because the guy is probably not good with money. If he’s not making a shit ton of money then he’s just one paycheck ahead of being destitute.

    On the other hand, no one wants to date a cheapskate.

    It’s important to keep a balance.

15. Not a lot of people are frugal. And it can be exhausting to date someone that is frugal when the other person is not. So I think you should be honest about it, but not expect a lot of love connections unless you meet someone else that’s frugal.

    Be that as it may, I’ve gone dutch on first dates and it hasn’t been a problem. Nor have I ever outright paid for a vacation for someone early in a relationship. So I don’t think you need to make a big splash when dating.

16. There are a lot of girls out there that don’t need to be wined and dined. But you are essentially removing an elite class of women from your dating pool if you take that stance. Someone told me this once a few years ago that I had never really considered before when picking a partner. You really want to find someone that views money the same way you do. If you are a saved and or like bargains and find someone who is the same way you will be much more likely to find happiness with them. If you aren’t big on eating out or taking big trips, you can usually suck it up for a while and splurge in the beginning when trying to impress someone, but at some point resentment may happen and you will not be able to keep that up, or keep the girl when you take that aspect of the relationship away.

17. It’s not about having money , it’s about not being cheap. Most women I know will stop talking to a well off man if he’s cheap but will date a man who doesn’t have a lot of spending money if he puts in effort