Hi. First time posting. I’m not even sure what I’m looking for other than a place to rant and some advice.
I met a guy on a dating app last August. We had so much in common and things felt really natural and comfortable. We were seeing each other for about a month until he started being slightly off with me. He later told me his ex had been in contact and he wanted to see if they could work things out and get back together. I was upset, but I respected his decision and appreciated him telling me.
I removed him from all my social media to avoid the temptation to reach out. Flash forward to January this year and he gets back in touch. He explains that he still really likes me and him and his ex didn’t end up getting back together. I was slightly dubious but I decided to give him a second chance.
I met up with him a few days after our first conversation. It felt like no time had passed and the feelings of comfort were still there. I was quite firm with the fact I didn’t want to sleep with him early on due to what had happened last time. He was fine with that.
A few days after the first meeting I slept over at his house. We did end up sleeping together lol. Whilst I was there I asked a really stupid question about whether he’d had someone else sleeping over – the second I asked it I felt so embarrassed. He said he hadn’t and the subject was dropped. The night continued like normal.
Flash forward to a week later and he’s suddenly withdrawing from me. We usually text quite frequently, all day. Now he’s taking around 6 to even 15 hours to respond to me and it’s sending my anxiety into overdrive. I just can’t understand why HE would be the one to come back into MY life and is now seeming to ghost me???
What do I do in this situation? I’m struggling to sleep. To think about anything but this. I don’t want to confront him and push him away more but there’s something not right – my gut can feel it.
4 comments
Why would you accept him back? You were clearly the backup option when he’s still not over his ex. You’re probably still the backup option. Now you’ve slept with him and he is barely responding. He clearly has no respect for you. Block him yourself and don’t get involved with someone who isn’t over their ex.
The most likely scenario: you were the backup option and he knew you were willing. Didn’t work out with his main girl (his ex) so he comes back to you. He just wanted sex and now he’s got it, so he’s lost interest.
You’re stressing so much over a man that isn’t even worth being more than a fuckbuddy.
You were the backup, and he’s still trying to get back with his ex. Maybe she started replying to him again, so he puts you on the back burner. Again.
Sorry OP this situation sucks.
Think all you can do is withdraw and be damn sure to ignore him next time he slimes into your DMs.
Re the question asking about someone else staying over- I think that was your gut identifying what your mind has noticed now.
Miserable situation but not a reflection on you. Take some time for yourself and get back out there when you’re ready x
he was bored/lonely/horny. he hit you up and you took the bait. lesson learned. advice is to get firm commitment prior to sex. he burned you bad.