How do I tell my boyfriend I fake my orgasms? We’ve had about 4 sex talks before this where I told him I need it more frequently, or I need more foreplay, or why don’t you eat me. I’m just not satisfied. He is perfect in every other way. He is so attentive to all my other needs. I don’t want to crush his confidence but I can’t live this lie anymore. I am miserable. I stopped faking them but I’m not sure he noticed. He finishes and then smokes a cigarette and doesn’t talk to me for an hour usually. Just on his phone in silence. It makes me feel terrible because I’m not finishing at all so I sit there like a flashlight and think “good for you”. I’ve used toys during sex. I don’t get a chance to enjoy anything because he cums almost immediately. How do I remedy this? I have always had “sessions” with partners that can last very long times. 15-20 minutes of foreplay, some sex, foreplay break, finishing up sex and we both have orgasmed. I’m not sure if my past hx is messing this up or what. What do people do, pull out a toy and finish yourself off after he is done? Every time? How do I approach this with compassion for his ego but also get my point across?
TLDR; I fake all my orgasms with my boyfriend because we don’t do good foreplay and I thought I was sparing his feelings but now I’m depressed and don’t know how to tell him this is why I have fully committed to him after 2 years
2 comments
Don’t agree to start intercourse until you have gotten reasonably satisfied with foreplay and/or oral sex. Stop agreeing to let him have bad sex with you. Either he will start having good sex or you two will decide you are sexually incompatible and break up. Either option is better than what you are doing now.
You don’t tell him, but you also stop faking them from now on.
You also need to communicate how you need for play. Sex is supposed to be fun and mutual.
He’s great in every other way, but this only lasts so long before you start resentment.