Hi there,
I’m a trans woman who is about to get bottom surgery soon. There are 2 kinds of male-to-female bottom surgery method available, and the method I choose will determine my vaginal wetness.
To be specific, method 1 will create a vaginal canal that’s similar to the skin on the palm of your hand. This means it’s always dry and lube is required for PIV sex. Some people still get wet with method 1 but it’s not enough for intercourse. Method 2 will make a constantly moist vaginal canal, which mean lube is mostly not needed for PIV sex.
I prefer method 2 but it’s more expensive and has a longer wait time. Also, some of my female friends said it’s not worth it since using lube is 100% okay. I get that but talking to several men around me, it seems that they have almost never had to use lube with PIV sex.
I know it’s completely okay for a woman to be non-lubricating and have to use lube. However, I’m at a position where I could actually choose how my future vagina functions.
I’m attracted to men and I want a fulfilling sex life in the future. I’m still quite young and a virgin, so there’re a lot of things in the actual sex scene that I don’t know about, such as this lubrication matter.
I want to know if a girl can’t get wet, or get wet but not enough for PIV sex, how does that make you feel? Is it a turn-off? Please be 100% honest!
Thank you!
14 comments
I don’t have our exact numbers here, but over the past few years of having sex several times a week, I would guess that number of times we did not use lube was maybe 2-3. It’s just a fact of life for us.
Can’t comment on the surgery, but given you’ll have it for the rest of your life, I’d personally go with the more expensive option if it’s what you want.
I’ve used lube as a male with female partners and I find it enjoyable. There’s plenty of options and flavours.
We use lube every single time. Without it, I have one spot that gets raw every time. No big deal at all!
Considering it’s a choice for the rest of your life, I’d go for the second option. It may be more expensive, but you’ll forget that pretty quickly over time. If you choose the first option, you might later on think “whish I’d have paid more and gone for the second option.” That feeling lasts longer than the feeling of spending more money.
Natural lubrication and arousal are not actually as connected as many think, especially as women get older. Just like your prospective vagina, lube is a miracle of modern science. Not a turn-off in the slightest
i’m a cishet woman and i take birth control. it often leaves me less wet and i often have to use lube with my boyfriend. if we have sex 7 times in a week probably 3-5. usually my partner goes down on me and that helps with the lubrication. do whatever validates you!
I think for me it would be most important that you feel a lot during sex and also keep the ability to orgasm. Do you know wheater the two options differ in this?
I use lube 90% of the time even though i get wet. Because i have very sensitive skin and even if my vagina is wet, the outer side isnt and this is still getting a lot of friction. And in my experience men dont care about using lube or not. But a lot of people get turned on when their partner is really enjoying themselves. So I would take the options that maximises my pleasure.
Maybe it would be more helpful to ask people who had there specific surgeries about their experiences. Isn‘t the most important question which one would give you the best physical sensation in general?
Completely indifferent about it/feel nothing over it. Outside of my first sexual experience I’ve always used lube.
I think if the second option is the one you prefer then that’s the one you should go for, you’re not likely to get a do-over here, do it once and do it right – that’s the least you owe yourself.
For the few trans people I know, surgery is one part of an extremely long and mentally exhausting journey and I’d have to ask you, is it worth taking a shortcut at the this major milestone for an outcome that you’ve said is second-best? Are you going to regret the decision, will there always be that little voice in your head questioning it?
As a guy I’ve never been with someone who needed lube for PIV sex, it would be quite unusual, not necessarily an issue – but unusual all the same and functionally it kind of takes the idea of a “quickie” off the table (and I have to say mrs-norty is rather fond of the instant gratification of just being… pounced on.)
Well, I know it’s not the same.. but as a menopausal woman, vaginal dryness fucking sucks. Sure lube is fine and it gets the job done, but it’s not as good as natural lubrication.
As a woman who doesn’t get very wet no matter how aroused I am, I always keep lube by my bed and at my partners house. I asked him how he felt about it once and he said “lube is great! Why wouldn’t we use it?” And has never seemed upset by it.
So I can’t speak for men but my partner doesn’t seem to bothered by it. I think mine is a side effect of birth control
I would get the second. For me, even with a vagina that IS ABLE to get wet, lube is needed. Every. Single. Time. With condoms you can only use water based lube, which doesn’t last that long, so even with a partially moist vagina I have to reapply often. I can imagine it could be a bit annoying without even that little natural help. Without condoms it’s not that dry naturally and you can use longer lasting lubes, so it’s probably not as big of an issue.
Plus you’re going to live with this decision for the rest of your life. With option two, you won’t have to second guess.
Hi, could you please tell what’s the name of the 2nd option?
I’m a woman but I’ve lost my natural lube because of another surgery and I’m searching for the options