I was able to snag a career making opportunity about six months before the pandemic after getting my PhD. I have a partner in my new city and we have been living together for about a year and a half. However between my relationship and work I don’t find much time to make new friends. My coworkers are nice but they are all a little more established (ie married with kids). Also since I work in academia it takes a lot of hours to keep up with my field and keep my skills up to date. My partner has a slightlyess demanding job and her coworkers are all in their 20s so they actually do things together.
To be honest, most days I feel pretty miserable and lonely. My work is interesting but it takes a lot of my time. It feels like no one wants to be my friend as a man in his 30s, I’m just here occupying space. Most people are already partnered off or are headlong into their career without much time for others. I’m struggling to see paths forward. What does life look like?? Is this normal?
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I don’t know man, but good luck and if you figure it out come back and tell me. I’m stable, have a family, a home, a cool hang out spot in my shop, and if I’m not at a volunteer fire meeting, parenting, safety committee or other volunteer stuff for others, I’m alone. It’s hard to go from my 20’s when I had lots of friends and went places to now in my forties where I’m just a drone for everyone else. I’m thinking of taking the couch out of my shop because no one ever sits on it. Makes me wish I’d never left my home town. But even when I go back, I can’t relate. Maintain your social circles gents. It’s like cutting down a tree for the view. When you realize how much they meant to you, you might not even live long enough to grow them back.