Please, I’d really appreciate advice here – I’m feeling almost completely lost and I really don’t like it, this topic is very important to me. Again, I’d appreciate any help at all. (To clarify, I am asking about how to ask someone to hang out/be a friend/get to know them, not relationship advice, since I don’t know how to do this with anyone.)

Now, I’m not very good with social skills, if you saw my old post you know that my parents didn’t exactly help. I didn’t really learn how to interact properly, I just kind of guess where the conversation will go and insert myself into a “template” if you will. Especially since this is a girl (I’m a boy), societal norms don’t really allow friendships well. I overthink, too, which doesn’t help, so I try to be the least problematic. Anyways, we always talked in groups, but the groups were forcefully mixed last week, and we have no time to talk to eachother in class anymore.

However, since we were in the process of getting to know eachother (over whole months!) it felt more like a tear than a slow decline, and I really don’t want it to end this way. But the problem is, I don’t know how I should explain to her that I really did enjoy talking to her, and I’d like to be her friend (without saying “Do you wanna be my friend”, of course!).

I know people want friends who care about you, value your views, or like the same things as you, or even people who just like to talk about deep things so to speak. I value those things to. I *can* be a good friend, and I *want* to be, for once in my life, but I’m kind of breaking down inside after this unexpected change. I kind of wanted to take the “slow road”, but now I’m forced to act – move it or lose it, I suppose.

Again, I would *really* appreciate some advice here. Especially from male/female friendships or people around my age (nearly adult). Also, even if the advice doesn’t work for this relationship, I’m sure I could use it elsewhere, too. I mean, in the future I must have a friend, right?

1 comment
  1. A male/female friendship is going to be complicated. You have to navigate the whole “is this romantic interest” thing, and she may just shut it down for not knowing one way or the other.

    Why not ask her to do something casual that is CLEARLY not a date? She either says yes or no.

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