Me and my gf have an amazing sex life and sexual chemistry. I’m 26. She’s 24.
Unfortunately she’s scared of getting pregnant so we don’t have much penetrative sex but we do a lot of grinding, oral, and fingering/handjobs. Pretty much when we are together we can’t get our hands off of each other. She finishes multiple times each time I’m with her.
Yesterday I saw her for a date. We cuddled before dinner and I fingered her before she cummed. She said that after dinner she wanted a naked massage which we do very frequently.
After dinner I started giving her a massage. I started grinding her from behind just the way she likes against her clit. This is her favorite position and makes her cum every time. However I noticed she wasn’t making any noises which she usually does and didn’t seem to into it which is very unusual.
About 10 minutes in she stopped and asked me “did you cum yet?” I said “not yet” and I asked her if she’s close to finishing and she said that she’s not. She then told me she was tired and that it seemed I was tired as well. She then said we should watch quick show and sleep.
This is the first time in 5 months we’ve been together that she has done something like this and stopped mid-sex. We always go until she finishes. This has made me feel a little insecure that she stopped like this and I wonder if I’ve done something in bed.
I’m meeting her tomorrow for our next date and was wondering if I should bring this up or if I should just move on and consider this a one time thing?
8 comments
Yes, talk about it
People have off days, days when they’re not into it or where they are distracted by other thoughts. Personally I wouldn’t overthink it. It happens.
How often do you use condoms OP?
Sometimes we just aren’t as into sex as we thought. A million things could be going on for her, none of which could be anything to do with you, ya know? It’s definitely okay to bring it up, and have a discussion about it. Don’t shame her, be there for her. And always respect her decision to stop.
It’s great news that she feels safe enough to say stop, even in the middle. That speaks volumes about your good character. Not all sex leads to orgasm. And if her body wasn’t being responsive, nothing was going to change. So stopping made sense, especially if she was tired. (If she’s honest with you about other things, she’s earned the benefit of the doubt, right?)
As for you, next time, speak up if you’re not finished but would like to. Ask if she’d be willing to cuddle as you finish yourself off. She might even offer a helping hand!
Orgasm can be a fickle critter. Don’t let it be the measure of success.
Does “naked massage” always mean sexual touching/grinding her? Or did this time you assume it did, and not double check if maybe she just wanted a massage with no sex/sexual stimulation?
You can’t go wrong with good communication. Ask her how she’s feeling now and what she was feeling during sex. If she’s uncomfortable responding, then you can offer affirmation and comfort, “That’s okay babe! Just know that I’m always here to listen to you. You should always feel safe to share as much or as little as you want. And I’m glad you listened to your own needs last night. Let me know how I can better support you in those moments.”
I wonder if she just wanted a massage without sexual expectations. Definitely talk about it.