Men, How long did it take to get a gf and how many attempts did it take?

17 comments

1. Before I met my current partner, I went on dates with 7 other women. I used hinge, bumble and okcupid. It took me about 2 years and I wasn’t super into it.

2. I only had 1 failed attempt. It was the first time I ever asked a girl out. All the rest took days at most, and only asked once.

3. before the gf phase, get to know several women well – depends on your juggling skills, criteria – that’s the casual dating / really good friends phase. Figure out which one you want to make a commitment to. Then signal what you want commitment. If she’s receptive to your signals, then outright ask for commitment. If it doesn’t work out with her – lather, rinse, repeat.

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   When I met my wife 15 years ago, I narrowed to / hanging out with around 5 women – they didn’t know each other – in different social / hobbies, interests circles, while asking out about 2-3 women a month – it was a very busy time

4. It never really took me long to get a girlfriend, I just had to put myself in a position to meet women. From there my charm will takeover and do the heavy lifting for me.

5. Had my first “girlfriend” in 3rd grade. My first relationship at 16.

6. I mean, I’ve been rejected a ton of times but that’s just part of life. Looking at relationships as “attempts”/”gfs gotten” is a wierd way to look at it. They aren’t free-throw attempts.

   I’ve been in a few serious relationships, and have now been with wife for almost 6 years, but I guess my first girlfriend was in highschool. I don’t think I got rejected before asking her out, but it was a long time ago.

7. It doesn’t work like this. You don’t “get a girlfriend” or have “attempts”. You just live your life and there comes a day when you meet her. Your person.

8. 1000’s do rejections, 13 official girlfriends, and 40 years

9. One attempt 🙂 I have tried to talk to maybe one or two girls before but I did not “attempt” by any reasonable criteria. So not count those.

   So cannot say how long because there was no “process”. It was even before I’ve got to self-established dating criteria like having a decent place to hang out.

10. I started “dating” around summer before freshman year… first attempt didn’t go anywhere, I call it a trial run. Second attempt was out of desperation, also nothing to write home about. By the third I was actually dating someone in a way where we gave a fuck about each other, that was sophomore year.

    I think there was one or two attempts in the meanwhile where I asked people out and they said no. Since then I’ve been in four serious relationships and maybe six less-serious relationships… with some overlap. I’m not monogamous. I’ve been on more dead-end dates though.

11. You make it sound like you’re going fishing… Its not like that. You live your life and you meet women along the way and when there is chemistry things develop.

12. I got my first girlfriend when I was 13 (36) so I’ve been around the block a few times lol

13. Got my first gf when I was 2. Took like us meeting each other.

14. Don’t “attempt” to get a girlfriend. Stop thinking with your dick and actually get to know the girls you’re talking to. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll find that you don’t even like most of them and when you do find one you like it’s probably going to be mutual.

15. My suggestion is to not count.

    Learn from your failures, then throw them onto the compost pile of other failures and slowly decay from your memory.

    If you count them and keep track of them they will remain with you for much longer as an abstract “the 92 times I asked a girl out and she said no”.

16. It took ten years and seven tries.

17. About a month or two when I’m tryin’.

    A fair amount of attempts (don’t remember nor count the number); that online dating culture is vicious!