In terms of dating. Like when people tell you to look for men who have this or that, but it really made no difference in their intentions nor changed the fact that they were pretty awful.
For me:
– Look for a man who has sisters. He’ll treat women better. (Nope)
– A man who has a great relationship with both of his parents. He’ll be more emotionally stable. (Noooope)
– Works with kids. He’ll be kind. (Nah)
What are the things you’ve heard?
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Wanting a serious relationship that could last forever.
I know, I know, this would be the dream for most of the girls/woman out there, right? Well, it turned out that these could just be pretty words for hiding an anxious attachment style. Basically you’re not going to have a stable relationship with a guy that would never cheat on you. You’ll end up being trapped in a circle of hell where you’ll constantly walk on eggshells because they have anxiously attached on you and are going to freak out for whatever shit you do that triggers their abandonment wound.
Look for emotional stability and maturity, instead: if the two of you are a match for each other and overall mature in emotional terms, than the both of you will likely have all the interest and the will to remain together as long as it can last. Especially don’t look for a “forever”, cause none of you two will remain the same person “forever” and in time it could be that what it’s a great match now will evolve in an insufferable relationship in the future. You should always look for what makes you feel safe and seen and loved in the present, without freaking out for what it’ll come next. If it’s meant to be “forever”, you’ll discover together.
If he’s nice to waitstaff he will be a good partner. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very important to be kind to the waitstaff but there’s no correlation between that and him being a decent partner.