Using a throwaway for this
we have a online long distant relationship which I think is really important. So me and him (both 16m) have been dating for almost 7 months now and some stuff has happened. He is stressed with school and we have both found i distract him from his work, so I try to let him work. But recently he has told me that he feels like he’s looking after a child and feels like medic (towards me), we talked and I thought everything would’ve been resolved the next day, it’s two/three days later..
About an hour 1/2 ago he said he was going to delete the multiple apps we talk and communicate on and not message me till the end of the month..I’m a very paranoid person and he’s done this before, which I have convinced him out of up until now. He won’t tell me how long he’s felt like a baby sitter to me and it’s stressing me out..
Has he wanted to leave me all this time and this is his way of getting out of it? I tried to help calm him since he was still upset earlier today, I managed to do that but then I mentioned I bought an energy drink but didn’t drink it (he doesn’t like me drinking them), this is when he said he needed to focus on school. I know I’m a bad boyfriend and a bad friend, all my friends have left cause I barley talked to them but I talked to my bf everyday, I might just be overthinking but I feel like I’m not this time..
He helped motivate me to get the job I have now since we were planning I visit him in July, but now I don’t know what to do, I feel like he doesn’t love me or has someone else he genuinely loves (I’m ftm and he’s gay so that also causes my anxiety abt him cheating to go off a lot). I feel like he doesn’t want to say “let’s break up” but he has before so I’m not sure, he has tried to not talk to me and focus on his school work multiple times…
He often gets mad that I don’t tell him my interest, or hobbies, or talk about my feelings. I truthfully don’t have any hobbies and don’t know what my feelings are, which I have told him. About two years ago I became very depressed and was on the verge of planning to take my own life, idk why I stuck around but I met him abt a year later and was happy..but now I’m scared being alone is going to cause those thoughts to come back…I can’t go to therapy because my family will find out and I don’t want them to deal with this, we don’t really get along, Especially when it comes to my mental health..
I just don’t know what to do..
Tl;dr: my boyfriend has deleted all apps so I can’t talk to him for the rest of the month. Does he want to leave me?