Context: In the past year or so our sex life has become stagnant — we have sex once a month at most, and on occasion it’s been two or three. When I’ve approached him on the topic his answer is always that he has a naturally low libido, and his antidepressant medication doesn’t help either. I’m on medication as well, so I understand this and would never pressure him.
The last conversation we had he told me he did not want to have sex because he was “too scared to get me pregnant.” Neither of us want children, and I admittedly have the same fear too, which is why I am on birth control AND we always use condoms. I thought two methods of protection would be enough to help his anxiety, but it’s not enough for him. At this point I am unsure what to do, I love him very much, but I have a much higher libido with him and am worried what the future has in store if our sex life has already drastically slowed down this much at only 2 years.
Any advice or comments would be helpful, thank you so much.
3 comments
I’m not really sure what you expect here. I’ll give you the default answers though:
1. Communicate and discuss this with your partner
2. Learn to live with it as it is
3. Find couple’s therapy (sex specialist)
4. Find more compatible partners
This is not an issue you can fix. He definitely has a mental health issue so a therapist is my suggestion. Yes, you are right to be worried as sexual compatibility is extremely important.
Let’s say for the sake of argument you did manage to get pregnant despite being on birth control and using condoms, what would you do? What would your reaction be? When do you think you would first realize you maybe had a problem? How would you realize you had a problem?
This isn’t and shouldn’t be solely your responsibility but we all know that when it comes to the crunch it’s the party that can actually be pregnant that will have the biggest burden to shoulder. So, knowing what you will do in the most adverse and unintended situations can provide you with the confidence to cope if it does happen. Maybe sharing those thoughts with your boyfriend might help. I don’t know.