I’ve just gotten divorced and have a daughter but I don’t really know what to do in terms of social life.
I’m a foreigner but have been here for 10 years, 7 of which married to an abusive woman who forbid me from almost every social interaction that came my way. We moved from London to another smaller city which isolated me even more from the few people I knew here.
I’ve finally had the guts to put an end to it but find myself without almost any friends and with a lot of free time.
We also have a 6 year old which I love very much and spend a lot of time with.
What are some activities that I could do, with or without my daughter, that would expand my social circles and not come across as some needy bloke.
Just trying to break the work > home > work cycle.
29 comments
For specific questions about London, you can also visit /r/London!
*Your post was not removed, this is just a friendly message*
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If she likes a team sport, you can see if there are any in your local area that you can regularly take her to and you might get to know some of the other parents that way.
I have a 5 and a 2 year old, I have not found that having kids has expanded my social circle, so best of luck!
Rock climbing and zip wires. Little girls love it as they are naturally fearless, in my experience as a father, brother and uncle to fearless little girls
If you are interested in sports, joining your local club for said sport is a good one.
Volunteering is another one.
If your daughter is interested in any clubs as well you could sign her up and go along and meet some of the other parents. Also just volunteering at her school will help you meet other parents too.
In general just going to the same places regularly will help you meet people.
Goodluck!
Joining local community groups on social media.
Do you or she like games? Maybe there’s a gaming club that is also kid appropriate. Maybe you could get both of you into something like Pokémon? Either the trading card game or the mobile game?
Things that get you active and outdoors could be great for yours and her mental health and confidence. Maybe get some second hand bikes if you have the funds and means of storage, find local nature spots to go to to feed the birds and ducks or even go trampolining if their is a Planet Bounce or similar near year. A bit different but I really love those paint your own pottery places, they are so relaxing and mindful. Even getting a few watercolour paints and some paper to paint together at home would be great to do to break the usual routine and make it part of a new routine. You could also see if there is a local petting farm or similar near you if she likes animals, they are often free and a lot if fun. Kids are a great way to make friends with other parents so if you can invite her friends to do things like meet up at the park or come round for tea that could be a great way to meet others.
Trampoline Park!
Museums, zoos, children’s soft play.
It’s a tad difficult to give suggestions without knowing where you are. Could you maybe tell us the county? Would narrow down the choices.
Find out/ask what she likes to do or would like to try
* Cycling
* Museums
* Walking (Geocaching, or just exploring your local parks)
* Weekends away
* Camping
Pottery painting can be really fun and will let her get really creative. See if your area has any pottery painting cafes and you can make an afternoon out of it.
I take my two swimming every week. They love it and their mum doesn’t swim so it’s ‘our’ thing. I am having a rough time of it right now, was made homeless by my ex, not kids mum, and now in a hostel where I’m not allowed to have my kids. I previously had them 50% of the time. What I’m trying to say is I feel you. So for us it’s swimming. There are always other kids there and my little girl can make friends in a silent cinema so it’s always more fun.
Also if your nearby to me, unlikely but hey, then we can hang out. I’m in Salisbury
I found board game clubs are a great way to meet people. I tend to avoid most social interaction but I found the board game club really welcoming and friendly. We have one that does family days as well, so it would be worth checking those out locally
I’ve seen some younger kids at my local bouldering wall who look like their having fun, it’s not strictly separated for adults and children so it could be a good activity for both of you to do.
Beavers (scouts for younger ones)? Volunteer as a helper if they need any
Rebound – have a good bounce about
Consider a youth group that is looking for adult volunteers – I would happily suggest a group or network if you have any interests and/or a general location you are happy to share.
There are groups for all sorts of activities and more general clubs, a range of entry prices and free, most are always needing adult volunteers too and there tends to be a lot of social activity.
If it was the 70s you’d go to the pub and she’d sit outside with a lemonade shandy and a packet of crisps.
Why not take her climbing or some other sport that you can both do?
Museums – I love taking my daughters to look at things. Even ‘boring’ museums can be fun when you are young.
Laser quest! If you call your local site they should let you know about any younger kid centred times or best times to book to avoid loud teens/drunken adults
If your daughter stays with you some of the time, arrange play dates with her friends, then you get to chat and have a drink with parents. Go to school events too, maybe get involved in something there.
This might sound daft but when I was a child I always loved the days when my dad would take me to the local library and we would get some books and he would then sit and read them to me.
If either of you like sports look into local teams and groups. Maybe you could play mini-golf with her, there are loads of places like that pooping up in my area, or a park and bowling? Things I always enjoyed as a child and still do
Little girls always love horses, maybe learning to ride is something you and her can do together?
Tough gig!
I like the rock climbing suggestion – bouldering/lead climbing can be pretty fun when you get into it but tough at the start
Something with board games could be good; there might be some groups nearby
I took up woodworking for a while; would recommend
I think most cities have a nature centre or city farm or the like. I was a single father to a 4yr old and spent a lot of time in the nature centre as it was so cheap and kids always love seeing the animals.
We also used to go to the museums and talking about whatever caught her eye – building up some weird general knowledge for her! One of her first teachers noticed this – *”Your daughter has amazing general knowledge! Does she get that from her Grandfather?”*. Cheeky bugger!
Swimming, cinema, board games (guess who is good), park, walks, cooking, play.
Swimming, pottery making/painting, baking, taking photos, doing science,
Do they have good friends nearby from school? See if they want to invite one round to play or to the park, it doesn’t even need to be a structured paid-for activity. At that age the parents usually come along and stay, I know a few just through regular playdates and doing the school run. Other simple stuff is trips to museums, library, local beauty spots, walks, swimming. Clubs that could work would be sport like football or Rugby, lots of those for girls around that cater to all levels (I find the boys ones can be a bit too serious, even age 6), Brownies.