Why can’t you be Platonic Friends with a member of the sex you’re attracted to?

38 comments

1. Because the little head does the big head’s thinking.

2. Who says I can’t?

3. You can.

4. You can have intimate nonsexual relationships with people you’re sexually attracted to.

5. Lots of people do.

   It helps if the friend is not compatible with you for other reasons. Not wanting the same things out of life, different sexual style, etc.

6. Because sex

7. I can if I’m not single or they aren’t attractive

8. You can. I can and do.

9. You can, but you have to be alarmingly close mates either from childhood or get close very quick. You need to be at the point where you know so much about that alarming piece of genetic rubbish that you can’t believe it when some poor innocent jumps their bones. And you can’t wait to tell them whatever is in your head and everyone thinks the pair of you are shaggin’ and ya don’t care.

10. Attracted to physically? I can. Easily.

    Attracted to romantically? No I can’t. Some people can, but not everyone. Lots will try because “That’s what good people do” but they fail because they aren’t wired that way.

    If you want to be with someone romantically and they turn you down, sticking around as a “friend” can kill all sense of closure. You can still pine away for them, getting your heart broken again and again as she meets and develops relationships with other men. Sometimes you need to cut it off in order to move on.

    This isn’t true for everyone, but it’s true in more cases than it is not.

11. You can

12. I’m gay and most of my close friends are straight men. 🤷‍♂️

13. You can though.

14. I can.

15. Because compared to men women make terrible friends. Great co-workers tho

16. *laughs in bisexual*

17. What do you mean? You can. I don’t want to date everyone I think it’s hot.

18. I’m Bisexual. So I guess I can’t have platonic friends? Lol

    I have plenty of friends I’m not attracted to. And plenty of friends I think are attractive that I have no interest in.

    It’s totally possible to have nonsexual platonic relationships with the opposite sex. Or the same sex. Whatever you’re into.

19. Because at one point or later, you’re going to have some sort of feelings with her. You will also have some thought of hooking up with her which is more likely, whether you want her to be your gf is a totally different topic.

20. I’m beginning to think, that I’m an oddity with how many responses I’ve gotten. I usually only form relationships with Woman that I find attractive and b/c of the way I become attracted to people? I’m a Sapiosexual and it’s their intelligence and the conversations that really get me going. So when I find a Woman that is smart, can have legit actual conversations and is conventionally attractive to me, I can’t help but get in the feels no matter what…. it’s weird.

21. You can man wtf

22. I can, but I’m built differently

23. I can, but I’m built differently

24. You can, if you have really low chemistry with the other person or if you simply dislike something that kills off any sexual desire.

25. You can though. And if you couldn’t…oof, being bisexual would be rough.

26. You can though. And if you couldn’t…oof, being bisexual would be rough.

27. you can,

    If One of you has 1000% complete ZERO interest in the other person sexually, and actually wants a friendship.

    The other, person, who’s is lying to themselves, is gonna have a shitty time.

28. Who says you can’t?

29. Don’t need or want friends.

30. I personally can’t because I’m too lonely of a sad sack, my monkey brain has identified the problem and has kept my standards amazingly low as a result. If she is around my age then I will be too attracted to her, she’d have to be impossibly ugly or obese for me to be okay with just being friends. Otherwise the attraction makes it impossible.

31. I guess your question really is why can’t YOU specifically. Because plenty of others are.

32. Because you will always want something from them.

    Like being behind on the rent but best friends with Bezos.

33. I can be but it’s sort a waste.

34. Ok, honestly. It’s very easy to have a platonic friendship with the opposite sex that you are not attracted to whatsoever.

35. I can and it surprises me some people think you can’t

36. You need common interests to be successful friends… While attraction doesn’t always require that. This gives the illusion that you cant be friends with the sex you are attracted to if you consistently interact with them based on attraction…. And when one of you turns down the other… Find that you have no common interests.

37. You need common interests to be successful friends… While attraction doesn’t always require that. This gives the illusion that you cant be friends with the sex you are attracted to if you consistently interact with them based on attraction…. And when one of you turns down the other… Find that you have no common interests.

38. You can. Finding someone attractive and actively pursuing them are two completely different things. Just because I think my friend is hot doesn’t mean I’m pining for them and it doesn’t mean I’m pursuing them.