I(33M) am wondering how women in their 30s would feel receiving a heartfelt letter, confessing deep seeded love for them from a friend, like back in high school. Can’t seem to get the words out when chatting. It’s usually lighthearted joking and talking about our days. It wouldn’t be a 10-15 min conversation given I’ve been writing to get them out as best I can for months now. Also could see not finishing a thought causing damage to our relationship. I just want to make them known so I can think more clearly rather than it being at the forefront of my mind. Would someone really feel loved or just think it’s immature?
2 comments
If you haven’t kissed or slept with her first lately, the letter would feel unjustified and overwhelming at best, and at worst, it would feel creepy and cringeworthy.
Confessing does not make a woman who hasn’t been physical with you think:
“_oh wow i guess he truly loves me; he genuinely seems to care a lot about me; so let me accept his feelings so i can be his girlfriend_”
That’s not how things work. I know your way of thinking.
You probably think that if a woman sees that you genuinely love and care you feel for her so so much; she would logically have to make the decision to date you because it’s unlikely that other guys she has met have felt like this for her.
You probably think that makes perfect logical sense, but women don’t see it that way.
That’s because women don’t choose to date someone based on what makes logical sense, but instead they chose who to date based in who attracts them.
That means that if she is not attracted to you, it won’t matter how much the letter shows that you care and love her.
Doing this kind of things also kills any potential minimal attraction she might have had because the overwhelming pressure you put in her with this, turns her off.
So even if she felt a little bit attracted to you, as soon as you do a big gesture like this, that attraction evaporates immediately because the pressure changes how she feels about you.
So no… there is a reason only kids do that, and why adults move past that and cringe about when they remember what they did when they were little.
Confessions are a no no. They are not part of a smooth dating process. They simply are not how you get a girlfriend.
No no no, talk about overkill. “Would it make a woman feel loved” that’s the wrong question. The question is “is she interested”…the answer to that question renders the “would she feel loved” question irrelevant. It’s got more chance of making her feel awkward and like she’s been hit with an avalanche. I think if you’re going to communicate something in writing, do it by text if you must but keep it really easy on the “love” and all that. Just “I’d like to take you out, maybe you’re surprised but I’m thinking it’d be nice if we explore our potential as it’s been on my mind”. Doesn’t have to be that exactly, but something simple, to the point and doesn’t require her to unpack a love song on paper. The simpler you keep it the better, understand this…she’s either interested or she’s not, and the more you gush, the more you’re likely to blow it, that’s if she’s even interested in the first place