My husband (28m) is angry upset I (28f) pushed his hand away from my belly while talking about having children, when he knows I loath it.

*(Please forgive the spelling and grammar, and the throwaway name. It’s old and Batman influenced. I also apologize for the ledge it became only cathartic to write down.)*

**The context (to my reaction):**

I am borderline phobic in regard to pregnancy (though it’s not as life-disrupting as some people’s phobia’s).

However, my disgust and horror concerning pregnancy *is* severe. The very idea of getting pregnant or being pregnant makes me gag. I cannot touch a pregnant woman’s belly… and even looking at it grosses me out. I will also unabashedly refuse to watch films that have birth scenes.

And Though I would like to think I was clear about the level of my distain with my partner in the last few years I have sort of downplayed how much pregnancy grosses me out because it doesn’t seem necessary to express in the majority of situations. It’s been said, but maybe not reiterated often? But again, I was never unclear about the fact that I would never, under any circumstances carry a child to term. I told him I would be open to surrogacy or adoption always but that pregnancy is not remotely on the table.
*“It sounds like torture,”* or *“It sounds like my personal hell”* is often the way I describe it whenever it’s brought up in conversation, be that by family or friends or obnoxious acquaintances that are minding their own business.

**The issue:**

We are talking about having kids now, we are both 28 and money is not an issue, and we are discussing surrogacy and adoption in equal parts. But the truth is Baby fever has hit him, and it’s hit him hard.

He has even brought up the idea of me carrying, which I have shot down twice now. The issue starts since we are often sitting on the loveseat while we are talking I have noticed he has this weird tendency of rubbing my stomach when he speaks about it.

At first, it didn’t make me uncomfortable, I am very physically affectioning, so This was fine until I noticed that he only does it when we talk about children…And the instant my brain made the connection it started giving me the creeps, And I have never felt that way about anything he’s done before and knew it wasn’t his fault necessarily. So at first, I tried to make a joke of it to tell him to stop. The second time I was firmer. But this last time I shoved his hand away because I had goosebumps from how uncomfortable I was.

I told him not to do it and explained (again) why I didn’t like it and he told me I was being dramatic.

This hurt, as I’d say I’m a pretty tough woman in every other aspect of my life. I’ve broken limbs in rugby and was I firefighter volunteer for years, etc, but this is the only thing in my life that I have a notable fear of.
He’s terrified of spiders and heights. *Terrified* , but would never said anything and I’ve never told him he was being dramatic.

I’m just frustrated and I feel like I’ve expressed myself clearly and I’m not being taken seriously.

Tl;dr

My Husband knows I have a phobia of pregnancy, but has for some reason been rubbing my belly when we talk about children (through surrogacy/adoption) and it’s making me very uncomfortable and he is telling me I’m being dramatic for reacting that way.