my (18f) boyfriend (22m) for the past couple months hasn’t been able to come. We just recently became exclusive and a few nights ago he came for the first time with me. Up until then it had only been me. We have sex everytime we see eachother, usually multiple times but up until then he hasn’t been able to finish. He told me that he can’t yet because he hasn’t been working out and he needs to be super comfortable with me in order for it to happen for him.

I understand that he can’t control it but before our most recent date I honestly had the thought that it just might never happen. I hated being the only one to reach an orgasm.

Does anyone else struggle with this/knows anyone who does?

10 comments
  1. Same thing happened with me when I first became sexually active. Are you his first?

    This may not be the case for your Boyfriend but for me as a 25 year old at the time, my best guess is that 13 or so years of daily death grip level masturbation usually accompanied by pornography probably contributed heavily to not being able to cum for the first few weeks of our sexual relationship.

  2. The same thing used to happen to me, I’d struggle to relax while getting to know a new partner. So I’d do myself a favour and I’d down down on jerking off for a bit which made me very pent up and lowered my orgasm threshold. It just made it easier to focus on the moment and get there. After a while it becomes natural and there’s no need for that.

  3. I wish I would have that problem of your bf. If you look at my little boy sideways I’ll cum

  4. I have had problems finishing in the past causing some amount of concern for both me and my partners. I even checked my testosterone at a specialist to see if that could be the problem.

    The problem persisted with my current partner but we kept trying and didn’t stress things. But it was eventually solved as I got more comfortable with her.

    The breakthrough came (as did I!) after we talked a bit both before and during sex about my fear of hurting her. When she told me I could go a bit harder, especially after she had come, something just “clicked” and I finally was able to finish.

    So your bf may very well have the same problem of being too nervous and “up in his head”. Especially since he is so young. It can of course be something else entirely.

    So just talk to him.

  5. I sometimes do
    But hey I’m in my sixties now.
    Ah heck I’ll finish it in the morning 🌄 😌 ☺

  6. I’m the same as your boyfriend, it took me a couple of months to finally start orgasming when I had a sexual partner as the sensations can be quite different. I don’t know about him but I personally am fine if I can’t always come as it means I can keep experiencing sex until my partner is exhausted.

  7. He might be beating his meat to often, back when i used to do it twice a day everyday, it was hard to cum from sex, because it wasn’t the same grip as my hand so it was a challenge i would always have to end the sex session by jerk off and coming on them. But after i stoped masturbating twice a day to once a day to even not everyday it started to become easier to come from sex itself.

  8. Me, I have anorgasmia, so I pretty much never have an orgasm. I eventually ejaculate with enough stimulation, but it feels like a sneeze to me, no pleasure.

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