Seems like the roles are reversed. I watch a healthy amount of porn but my bf never got into it because he was scared it would give him ED

We’re talking about things now and he says he doesn’t like that I watch it but it’s my choice

Do I just stop? I feel bad still doing it knowing he doesn’t like it

But also it’s hard for me to get in the mood fully without him or without porn when we aren’t together

26 comments

  1. You are asking for opinions here (violation of group rules) that are going to be all over the place to the point it really won’t provide useful feedback. This is something that the two of you need to work out. He has some reason (probably insecurity) and you seem to have a need.

  3. I maintain that porn is great for woman to explore and learn about masturbation and master our vagina’s.

    Men often feel threatened about woman who watch porn as they can’t live up to the men in the scenes. But try to watch it together and encourage him to find ‘favourite’ girls and try and make it a thing you’ll do together.

    ED only happens if he masturbates badly with porn

  4. His baggage with porn is his own, if you don’t think your porn habits take away from intimacy or time with your partner, I don’t see why he needs to meddle in your personal jerkin’ time.

  5. If it works for you great, he doesn’t need to force a opinion and make you feel shitty about your needs.

  6. Whether you stop or not is up to you and you alone. There’s a moral/ethical question involved in this that you have to make a decision for yourself, based on the reasons why he doesn’t like it. Does he feel insecure about porn actors being (purposefully) being portrayed as sexgods? Does he feel jealous on an emotional level? If you stopped watching it but fantasise in your head instead, would he have a problem with that? Only you two can figure that out I’m afraid! Good luck!

  7. I wouldn’t stop. His weird hang ups are his and if he’s not there, you’re allowed to have pleasant masturbation.

    If he truely wanted a gf who never watch porn, he should have asked at the beginning.

  10. If your boyfriend is displaying jealousy , it is a red flag. If he just doesn’t like you watching it with or near him, its a preference.

  11. I would invite him to watch porn with you and act out the scenes. Maybe that will get him interested and enjoy letting you watch porn

  12. First of all he needs to understand it is your body, if you want to watch porn then you will because that’s your choice.
    Also just because he doesn’t like/watch it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.

  13. How bout he sends you nudes/videos you can use? Of him, you two together? If you need something visual. I’d love to have a video of my partner masturbating to watch when I’m alone.

  15. A strong relationship has hard conversations compromises. Whatever you decide to do, it needs to involve a decision from both of you. If you just keep watching it whether he likes it or not, it could build up resentment. It sounds like he has some trauma around porn. Talk it over and see where all of his aversion to it is coming from.

  16. It’s up to you to decide whether it’s okay for a partner to control/dictate your porn use.

    I maintain the belief that porn use and masturbation is none of my partner’s business unless:

    1. I want to share with him _and_ he wants to know/be part of it, or

    2. My porn use/masturbation affects our sex life negatively, e.g., I neglect him sexually due to my porn use, or I have unrealistic expectations for him due to porn use.

  18. There are certain things that partners should have no say in. And, one of those things is how you masturbate.

    If your partner doesn’t want to use porn that is their prerogative. But, to not use porn because they think it causes ED is very misinformed.

    Porn does not cause ED.

  20. You need to decide this yourself. Everyone has an opinion when it comes to porn and it’s role in relationships. Your partner doesn’t like that you watch it, you feel bad about that. You can:

    a. Stop watching it

    b. Keep watching it and hide it/feel guilty

    c. Keep watching it and end the relationship

    d. Keep watching it and be honest/decide that you don’t care how he feels about it (he could end it in this case)

    Either way, people here can’t help you decide whether or not to care about your partner’s issues with porn.

  21. These comments proof that there are big double standards in this sub but if someone says that, you get downvoted because yall not ready about that conversation yet

  22. I disagree with how some of these comments are going. It’s not a red flag nor a forced opinion that your boyfriend expressed something to you. This is what we always preach and should continue to preach. Healthy communication. It’s important for partners to actively communicate and, based off of this post alone, I personally think it’s good that he expressed his feelings without forcing you to do something about it.

    Now onto the actual advice: this is your personal alone time that will never involve him or anyone else. I understand you feel bad knowing he doesn’t like it, but this is something he will have to accept. Maybe give it some time, and then have another discussion and you two can continue to be open and talk it out further to find solutions.

  23. Tell him this is something you value and you’re going to keep doing.

    If his values conflict with yours, he has to accept it or leave.

  24. I’d say do what you want with your personal time, watch it with a bit of discretion.

  26. Men are very VERY self conscious about getting their significant other aroused. It seems your Bf was mis-informed about pornography but if he feels he can control what you watch sounds like you can say the same to him?? Stop watching sports or video games.. but you do you

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