Dating is one of the most miserable experiences. Too many rules….
Text or don’t text?
Too much or too little?
Too soon to say or do this?
It’s like pulling teeth to get past the surface level bullshit and it’s always same boring stuff.
Open up a little! what’s the worst thing that happens? We like each other?
Or we don’t? So we move on and thank them for their time.
Incredibly frustrating.
33 comments
Exactly. It is painful at times but I guess when I think about it from what you said, it is the only way to find someone you are compatible with. Especially the texting one or talking to them. Everyone is deemed available mostly due to cell phones and smart phone sand so many ways to keep in touch. It brings more anxiety then anything to me at times when I actually do like someone.
Being heartbroken again
Its only like pulling teeth when you have found urself a.. drumroll pleaseeee..
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dismissive. avoidant. attachment.
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Sigh… i feel for you.
Loosing someone who I care about. For example atm I just broke up with a girl and we are goingto stay friends and yes we still have feelings for each other. But she’s started talking to another guy less than a day after we ended being together,i so forgive hwr for it as i get it from my own personal experience. (I know im a dick for doing it amd being a hypocrite). My fear is losing the friendship we have because we deeply care about each other; I am still feelings romantically and I don’t know if she truly does or not.
And this fear is going so far as to try and turn her against him for anything he does wrong. I am sitting on my bed almost crying while on call to her (normal when I like this we call all night even when we pass out). I would break in half if I lost her romantically or as a friend.
And I don’t know what to do at this point. I want to jus give up on all my friendshipa, and yet so many good things that COULD happen.
Sorry if this is sorta all over the place
Everyone is afraid of being vulnerable. Its easier to be interesting, funny, successful, etc online, people can only pretend for so long in person.
Rejection and being cheated on
Dating sucks. I’ve resigned myself to just being friends with men, anything else is exhausting and not worth the bullshit.
Sometimes it’s just that y’all are not compatible.
Met a girl way back when, we’re both amazing people doing our own things, but man when we see each other we both just wanna hide.
Still sees her at events but I honestly don’t know how far it would ever go.
Out there, the is someone with courage like yours. Eventually you’ll learn to spot them sooner, and spot the one’s who don’t.
Wax on, wax off
After getting yet another “I’ve been thinking and idk if we’re compatible…” text right after opening up just a little bit and getting real with a girl, I’m not afraid I’m just tired.
Us guys have learned you have to keep it light and fun and just never really open up about deeper things involving yourself, at least not for a looong time until you’re in relationship waters with them. It’s like a game of pretending to be a fun easygoing guy but I was just tired of playing it
Confirmation by multiple third parties that I am in fact unlovable and it’s not just in my head
Getting hurt again.
Oh my fucking god, it’s like we’re having the same experiences at the moment. I’m so sick of people who are afraid of being emotionally available and yet leave the door open for you to geT emotionally bonded to them only for them to fucking wuss away and pull some dumb shit. Like, my only resources of value in the game of love are my time and my emotions and fuck everyone who feels entitled to wasting either. They’re not fucking reimbursable and I’m just done with people being shitty scared assholes who make you feel inadequate when really they’re projecting their terrible personalities and insecurities on an innocent procedure.
It’s all a mental game which is ducking exhausting. Especially at first, it does get easier as you get to know someone tho
Honestly I’m afraid because I’m naturally always sitting with my phone in front of me so I’m normally answering anyone back who texts me instantly… So I’m worried that will come off as desperate when in reality its just how I text
For me, I’ve been in 5 relationships, all temporary for different reasons. In 4 of them they were lying to me. I don’t necessarily think that this is a good representative sample of the dating pool, but thinking about going through the gauntlet of selection, mind games, and other hoops just to put my heart on the line is not appealing to me anymore.
OP I resonate w this 100%
Dating thanks to social media and TV has become just a who has something better then other game. Its more about bragging and showing off and less about love and companionship.
Being cheated on
Being heartbroken
Wasting your time and effort
Self-reflection. What do I mean? You start a healthy relationship with someone who complements your life. Where’s the problem? You’re still someone that can’t reciprocate because you haven’t done the work to get control of your insecurities. So what happens? You turn into a pain in the ass. You start being petty. You start talking to your ex. You cheat. Needless to say, the healthy relationship with the person that compliments your life in a positive way is over. You now have to look at yourself in the mirror and admit to yourself that you screwed up a good thing. So how do you avoid this. You create these absurd and contradictory standards that no one will ever live up to even to get the relationship past the first few dates.
They aren’t good at texting.
Why do you want to meet right away?
They seem boring.
They must be intimidated by my success.
Whenever I see people make complaints like this, it wreaks of them being afraid of a good thing happening to them because they’re afraid of screwing it up.
It’s one of those things where people don’t tend to take time to develop their ability to control their emotions and end up ruled by them. When you haven’t reached that level of self control it’s hard to take those “risks,” even if there really isn’t downside to them.
Being a burden, I’m waiting on a neurologist. But other than that, I’ve got arthritis which means on some days it’s painful to walk.
Subsequently, I’ve never rated myself very highly, but with the pain and issues, I wouldn’t like to be classed as a burden to a potential partner.
Dating can be incredibly frustrating because there are a lot of unspoken rules and expectations that can be difficult to navigate. It can be hard to know when to text, how much to text, and when to say or do certain things. It can also be difficult to open up and be vulnerable because of the fear of rejection. However, it’s important to remember that the worst thing that can happen is that you don’t like each other and you can simply move on and thank them for their time.
Just be you fuck the rules, the norms, and the expectations
Being afraid of being laughed at.
I agree with you that all of these “rules” are ridiculous and people should be open and honest. However, the world is not a perfect place and there are a lot of toxic people out there. Women are afraid of being hurt and men are afraid of having their vulnerability used against them.
That’s where I’m at right now. I’ve always had a ton of anxiety and overthink every single text or interaction. Recently I decided to try a different approach and just say whatever I’m thinking/feeling. If the other person isn’t receptive of it, then they’re not for me and that’s not my fault. It’s been going great and I’m in a happy relationship with open communication for once.
Can’t believe Someone posted this. You’re not alone. Same here. It’s too much discomfort and pain to even try to say hello let alone the rest.
People suck
Doing all the work for nothing, happens a lot. I don’t wanna hear empty words either. It’s not difficult to show an ounce of effort.
Commitment issues.
When finally finding someone and hoping I don’t get cheated on again.
the heartbreak/being replaced?
Just don’t say I love you on the first date