Me \[21 M\] interested in \[21 F\].
Basically, I’ve been struggling for a long time with dating. I’m often bold with asking out a lot of girls, but I haven’t been successful in getting many second dates. I get attracted to people really easily and then I become attached. Whenever I ask a girl on a second date, the usual response is that she isn’t interested in pursing anything further.
There’s a new girl that I like a lot and she’s a new roommate to some of my best friends. I have a habit of going to their apartment a lot already, so I have a better chance of becoming friends with this new girl. We’ve spent a bit of time together, mostly doing homework or just talking. I asked her out on a date for later this week and she said yes. She’s beautiful and fun to talk to. There have been a couple of things that hint at the possibility that she may like me. I’m really excited, but I also have a fear.
Because I’ve faced so much rejection after putting forth so much effort, I’ve been starting to worry that it might not be possible for a girl that’s so pretty to like me and want to date me. My mind has been sabotaging itself.
I feel like I’m a decently attractive guy with a good personality, but I just keep getting anxious anytime there’s a girl I like because I feel like there’s no way she’ll ever like me back. I feel like I’m not on their level.
What do I do?
**TL;DR: Even though I ask out the girls I’m interested in, I’m worried that a beautiful girl will never be intered in me because I keep being rejected.**
1 comment
Honestly, just be the guy that girls feel comfortable and good around. Be yourself, be funny, make the space around you always be good and safe, free of judgement.
Just do that for a while. I’m saying to do this because you mention you’ve put forth a lot of effort in the past, so this time just accept an awesome friendship with these girls.
This strategy is good for two reasons. 1) if one of these girls starts to like you, you guys can take it slow and develop a great bond first, 2) if these girls don’t end up feeling romantic towards you then that’s okay, because you’re a safe awesome guy, and safe awesome guys are eligible to meet their other girlfriends and be part of their larger social world, which gives you access to more girls haha, and these other girls will think positively if you.
Romance is something that can be slowly enjoyed and discovered between two equals, and it shouldn’t feel like a monumental effort.
Also, working out is good for you psychologically and mentally, and gives a little confidence boost.