What does being polite look like for you?

7 comments

1. Context?

   It generally looks like being gracious and aware of other people existing and having feelings. But the specifics are pretty context dependent.

2. Depends on the context, but something like being aware of and taking other people’s experiences, perceptions, and expectations of the interaction in consideration while responding in a way that is kind, calm, and gracious regardless of the information you need to convey or action you need to take.

3. Little bit of a vague question, but I’ll try.

   Being polite, in my opinion, is behaving in a detached, formal manner that focuses on more on the unspoken rules of polite society than the reality of your emotional state. Politeness is not kindness, it’s just etiquette based on the social expectations of interaction held by the majority of people in present company.

   Here is an example.

   Polite: How are you? Good, yourself?

   Reality: How are you? My world is on fire, I’ve been binge drinking since my dog died, and I’m lonelier than I’ve ever been in my life; you?

   Being polite to me is dramatically different from being polite to my mother, my boss, fast food workers, etc. It’s really all based on who you’re interacting with and why, and what the expected behavior is.

4. When people decide to be friggin jerks I just say nope and walk away. Not engaging, not getting myself worked up or anything.

5. If you have to explain that you’re being polite, you’re not being polite.

6. Polite is being gracious to others, asking not demanding, and thanking others. Sincerity makes up for a lot, most everyone would appreciate an honest “i am not having a good day so I’m impatient but thank you for helping me”.

7. * having a down-to-earth approach to other people, being non judgmental; recognizing whatever luck and privilege you had in live; respecting others’ efforts and feelings.
   * asking about others, not just talking about yourself. Listening.
   * refraining from attacking people on politics, money, religion, sexuality.
   * refraining from laying your personal backstory on people who didn’t ask to hear it.
   * when you see you’re edging a person’s sore spot, don’t touch it. If you do, at least don’t look so eager.