So this might be stupid.
I have that one special friend that I really care for a lot (there might be feelings involved on both sides). We met last monday really spontaneously after he had to cancel for saturday ( this was also a “you free in 2 hours?” thing). We spent a really nice day together, and at a certain point he even said that I am the person he calls/texts/whatever when he needs someone to talk, something bothers him, etc. This is huge for me as no one ever did that.
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Anyway. Wednesday he texted me his mom is in the hospital, and asks if he could call me. Of course I said yes and he told me everything and how worried he is and just tries to function etc. I comforted him as much as possible and when he said “Now I’ll stop keeping you from working” I told him he doesn’t keep me from anything and that I am there for him. Told him to text/call no matter what time and what he needs me for (just listen, comfort him, help out with whatever, the likes). He said he’ll does. And I know he knows I mean it.
I also know he needs some time to process etc; in general he keeps loads for himself and just has one or two people (including me) that he trusts and talks with about such things. Some time ago he even called me crying in a different situation.
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I am worried for him so I just wanted to check in with him on saturday. No reaction, but watched my whatsapp status yesterday. I figured maybe my message did not arrive despite the app telling it did, I had that happen before. Today I texted again. This time he answered almost immediately, and he answered honestly. Did not sound annoyed (voice message) but I could feel he is off. This is no easy situation and I want him to focus on his family now, that’s why I went from our usual chitchat and meeting weekly etc to just wanting to check in on him. We had some plans for the next weeks/months but for me they are not important rn.
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What I don’t understand is that going from actively “asking for support” to being distant. I don’t want big conversations, just support him through this and know that he is doing ok from time to time.
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I interpreted him asking that he wants my support. Now I am not so sure. I know I could just wait for him to reach out, but I also know that he usually doesn’t like to not hear from his closest people for longer than a few days. I don’t want to appear pushy or like I am ignoring him.
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So how do I know if someone wants my support? I now think I misinterpreted him asking if he could call. He works in my neighbourhood and I regularly meet him by chance and can’t just walk past him without saying anything and don’t want to overdo it.