what’s your coming out story? anyone discover they were gay later in life?

12 comments

1. Basically I got out of a long relationship with a male when I was 24 and wanted something completely different than that. I’m married to a woman now at 30 and I’m incredibly happy I made that change. Also, my parents and siblings claimed to “know” before I even started dating woman.

2. I just mentioned my ex girlfriend randomly just like I would any other ex boyfriend. I’m 22 years old now. Coming out wasn’t a big deal plus my family already knew I wasn’t straight since I was a kid so like 🤷🏽‍♀️ Old news lol

   When one of my cousins came out her mom looked at her and said, “Ok. So, do you want chicken for dinner or not? Because I got work and…”

   Very chill ordeal 😌

3. I blew my parents mind. I told them I was gay, had a girlfriend, and that my girlfriend was the roommate they met when they moved me in all at the same time. I’ll give them credit, they took it in stride as much as possible given I had just dropped three big things on them like that.

4. The signs were there from an early age, upon retrospect. I always liked looking at girls more. Whenever I saw a heterosexual couple in a movie/show/picture, my eyes would focus on the woman. And despite narrow beauty standards in media, I found a wide variety of female body types and appearances lovely, while even the “handsomest” men were much plainer in comparison.

   Growing up, I assumed I was straight by default. But despite liking the general idea of dating, I would just feel the urge to bail whenever dating a man became a real life possibility. Never made it past the first casual coffee date or a kiss on the cheek before I simply never wanted to see the guy again. I thought I was too picky, since there was nothing wrong with those guys. So I figured marriage just wouldn’t be an option for me, and my best hope for anything like a family was to be an auntie or get a job in childcare.

   It took years of seeing the views and hearing the voices of LGBT people and causes on places like Tumblr to become more comfortable with the idea. And finally, at 30 I decided to give dating women a try and met my wife.

5. I was really young when I realized. I was 12. Luckily lived in a mostly accepting area and it didn’t really impact me. Downside was that it was the only solid thing I knew about myself so I made being gay my whole identity. I also still haven’t dated anyone or been in love. But these are such small things compared to what others go through

6. I talk about this a lot, but I was raised in the LDS church and of course gay marriage is not recognized in that religion. I identify as bisexual and have known for many years. So to cope I put a damper on my sexuality because I thought I could “just be with a man” and still be “happy”. Obviously that’s not the case because that’s ignoring a large part of who you are. You cannot make a bisexual person be straight🤷‍♀️

   Anyways, after years of being too scared to say anything, I just told my family out of the blue when I was 21. They really weren’t too surprised because I often told my mother that I thought both the boy and girl Bratz dolls were cute and wanted to be married to both. I’m very lucky to have an understanding family. That is unfortunately not the case for many of the LDS youth.

7. Not gay but trans,

   I’d identified as non binary and pansexual when I was younger and then eventually met a trans woman and kind of picked her brain a bit about her identity and how the transition process works. I met her on a camping trip and by the end of that long weekend I was pretty sure I was trans. I did some research, started my transition, and life has been so much better for me.

   I can pass by a mirror without crying now, I can embrace my femininity and womanhood without having to explain myself as a AMAB. I’m finally in the right body and I’ve never been happier.

8. Sure. I was in my 20’s, which is late for some people. I fell for a girl my freshman year of college but I was young and dumb and thought she was just a super special friend who “got” me. Nothing happened (she was straight, had a boyfriend) but a couple of years later I was telling another friend about her and my other friend said (perfectly seriously), “Wow. It sounds like you really had it bad.”

   I was so floored I just went, “What?!” Then I started thinking…

9. After 2 years of questioning I knew I was bisexual. I started the year not even hesitating that i’m not straight then ended with im definitely bisexual . I had a huge crush on this girl at my school and my friends would always talk about their crushes. One day someone mentioned her name just gossip about her and I said Umm i kinda used to have a crush on her and one of my friends said you know that means you’re bi and i was like oh really am i? lol. Then someone blabbered to the whole school about it but it’s lucky nobody treated me different for it.

10. Treating boys with disgust and disdain.

11. I’ve never properly came out

    I think most of my friends know or at least suspect it, but i’ve never dated and don’t have much interest in dating. it’s honestly just never been relevant information.

12. I realized I was gay when I was 16. I fell in love and had a secret girlfriend. I left home at 17 and was fully out by 20. That was… almost 30 years ago. My parents were pretty terrible at first, but eventually got better. My grandparents and sister were always cool.

    I think any time people come out, it has challenges. Young people have less support, less emotional maturity, and are more vulnerable. Older people have to tear up an established life.