You’re using the stall inside of a public restroom when someone knocks on the door. What’s your go-to response?

45 comments

1. “Come back with a warrant.”

2. “Come in”

3. Hey I’m shitin’ here!

4. Ignore it. There’s a lock for a reason.

5. I say nothing and let them panic over whether or not the stall is empty

6. My go to is “yup”

7. “Occupado!”

8. (cough)

9. “Fuck off.”

10. “I’m pooooooping”

11. Occupied!

12. My go-to response when someone knocks on the door while I’m using the restroom would probably be something like “Hold on, I’m just finishing up my masterpiece” or “Can’t you see the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign? I’ll be out in a sec.”. I like to keep things light-hearted and make a little joke out of the situation, while still letting the person know that I am currently occupied.

13. # OCCUPIED

14. “House keeping.”

15. “Someone’s in here”

16. Occupied!

17. Oh thank God! I needed someone to help me wrestle this monster back in!

18. Taken bitch

19. I try to let a turd fly so there’s a splash that means business. If that’s not cooperating, I grunt like I’m trying to force a honeydew melon from my o-ring. It’s all about dominance.

20. Shitter’s full

21. “Nothing means nothing! Yeah. I’m talking about all the way to the top. Unjustifiably in a position I’d rather not be in. Macho madness has more to offer than president Jack tunney thinks I got. Yeah…”

    If they haven’t gone away by that point I finish my dump and get ready for a fight. If nothing else, it’s bought me time. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

22. Just fart real loud.

23. I loudly say “I’m poopin'”

24. Cant u hear my peepee

25. I’m poopin here!

26. “Occupied, and not interested; move the fuck on.”

27. I knock back.

28. I’ve been waiting for you

29. Mr Dalliard,.we have been activated

30. I’m a bit of a bitch when I’m pooping, and easily startled so I usually reply with a salty, *”Do YOU mind,”* or if I’m super startled a nervous, *”Occupied!”*

31. ***SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED***

32. ” come on in” it’s a knee jerk response

33. I’ve been waiting for you.

34. ‘Can’t you read?’

    The locks literally say ‘engaged’ or ‘vacant’, after all.

35. I open the door with my head wrapped in toilet paper and I say “oooloo!” like Mrs Doubtfire

36. At home “won’t be long”, out, “busy!”

37. #ESTOY POOPIN

38. You get the lube?

39. House Keeping? Can you jerk me off?

40. I’ve used this before:

    “OH Thank God you are here, are you a doctor? Can you come in here and look at this”

    You will regain your privacy and solitude momentarily. 🤣✌️

41. Vamos

42. First off, cover my dick because people are fucking idiots and will try to peer through the cracks as if there ISN’T someone with their pants down on the other side.

    Second I’ll call out “occupied!” So they know it’s taken.

    Third. If they don’t take that as an answer for whatever reason, I tell them “look. Unless you want what’s floating in the bowl, I’ve got nothing for you. Fuck off and find another stall.”

43. I don’t say anything, they can clearly see my shoes under the stall door.

44. Come back with a warrant.

45. Occupied.