Is it the fifth date or is at after exclusivity (for monogamous dating) or is it three months of seeing each other? Lol I feel like too early is trauma dumping and too late feels like I’m hiding it.
Especially for someone who doesn’t want to “not mention it” when they’re in the middle of treatment and healing stages and all that good stuff.
My example for reference: 25F and I’ve been seeing a guy steadily almost every week for about two months. Cool guy.
I have tendencies like getting quiet abruptly or avoiding eye contact and these things would be better explained if he had an idea on what I’m currently treating/healing/dealing with.
What’s the timeline? Is it better not to say anything at all? What are your thoughts?
2 comments
Prior to exclusivity.
Because he should be allowed to make an *informed* decision about being with you exclusively before cutting ties with all the other women he’s dating.
Yea you should have mentioned this before you guys starting dating. During the getting to know you stages. So he can know if he’s able to mentally handle all of you and the baggage. We all have baggage and sometimes other people’s baggages are too heavy for us to carry. It’s that simple.
But you guys definitely need to talk and get everything in the open. It’s still 2 months in no harm, no fowl. If the stuff you’ve been through isn’t something he’s mature enough to handle, then you know he’s not your person. But in the area of eyes darting and not making eye contact, I’ll say therapy. He is not a therapist he can’t help you through it, but he can support you while you do therapy. We often forget that our loved ones are humans too, we onload so much on them and expect them to handle it thesame way a trained professional with degrees and credible researches would. Just be gentle now that he cares about you.