Tl;Dr: boyfriend cheated I want to move on but my mind can’t stop thinking about it.
So for context in March of last year I was evicted and had to move back home away from my boyfriend our relationship was also very toxic when I first moved back home so due to having more support around I started setting better boundaries which he feel as if due to his tough situation(basically homeless/jobless) I should’ve waited for a better time to do so. I worked a lot so I wasn’t able to see him as much. I saw him about 3 times between march to when I moved back in august and I do regret not coming more. We had a huge fight in July and we didn’t talk for about two weeks until I had a pregnancy scare from the last time I saw him and contacted him and since then we have been back together. I recently found out by snooping that he hooked up with a girl during the period where we didn’t talk. His explanation was that he was sleeping outside and she offered him a place to stay and he was “mad at me” and under the heavy influence of pills so I guess that lead to them hooking up and he says it was “one time”. Although I somewhat get it because the opioid is a known strong one and he claims he was in and out of sleeping but at the same time I’m still just so hurt.. he is my first love and loyalty was something we always talked about. I feel like because it wasn’t just blatant sober cheating I’m able to try to forgive him and move on. But these past few days have been very hard. We talked about it he told me that it was a mistake that he’s sorry and he regrets it and he never cared about her and that he was just in a rough spot and he was on drugs but I feel so hurt I can’t stop crying. I love him so much and I want to move on from this not because he is my first love but because we have been through a lot of tough times and he has always been there and he’s never judged me I’ve just never experienced anything like this and I know I want to move on but my mind is driving me insane. How would somebody handle something like this? Want to give myself a peace of mind.
2 comments
Yeah well im sorry but its over.
Of course you’ve never experienced anything like this; he’s your first relationship.
It sounds like he has a lot of things to work through and you seem to have stabilized. I would lean into that and find someone who can actually give you a relationship that isn’t full of a lot of problems that were there before you even started together.