So my girlfriend will do something that bothers me. For example, she hangs out with a guy and they lie in bed and watch movies together. I told her that makes me extremely uncomfortable, and that I’d never even think of doing that with another girl. She can understand where I’m coming from, but ultimately says the guy isn’t a threat and she’s not into him so it’s fine. I tell her it still makes me quite uncomfortable.
Fast forward to another day. She will talk about how she hung out with a guy friend. I don’t really comment on it or say much since I’ve already communicated before.
She’ll then proceed to ask my why I’m distant and mad over text. If I say why, she just gets defensive. If I don’t say why, she keeps prying and asking why I’m mad at her. What do I do?
14 comments
You tell her where your line of what is acceptable is and if she doesn’t like it, you break up because you’re not compatible and finding someone compatible with you is what dating is about. I don’t automatically tell people to break up, nor do I believe that women and men cannot be platonic friends. So just hanging out is okay, imo. However. Lying in bed with him all day watching movies together? That is suspect. And she shouldn’t be making you feel bad that you are not okay with it.
Immaturity. Just have to talk it out or leave
She needs therapy or couplr counceling. If she doesn’t agree then that is the end of it.
You can’t force her to be proper partner so if she doesn’t want to work on her issues you can only break up with her.
Remember, dating is an audition, not an arranged marriage. You’re looking to see if you’re compatible as partners. You don’t actually have to stay with them if it’s not working out.
I never would have married my husband if he was hanging out in other womens’ beds. This is an ok line to draw.
You’re not compatible and she doesn’t care when her actions bother you. There’s no reason to stay with someone who doesn’t share your values.
You’re either okay with it or not. Don’t stay with someone doing things you’re not okay with and just be mad all the time. That’s terrible for both of you.
Either decide it’s not worth leaving over and learn to deal with it, or realize you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who does that, and then either communicate that boundary or just leave.
Take a piece of advice from someone twice your age…never try and tell girls how to act and what to do, first they’re unlikely to listen and second you shouldn’t waste your time on girls that do this crap in the first place
Date girls like this but don’t take them seriously. Don’t be mad that she’s doing these things just stop taking her seriously, have some fun and move on
>they lie in bed and watch movies together
buddy come on
Welcome to the rest of your life together. Is this really the way you want your future to look?
If not then maybe it’s time to move on. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can change her nature.
This is why guys don’t talk: than we have two problems.
Op, do you really see a long term potential in this relationship? If you don’t, then why waste your and her time by continuing in it?
If I were you, I would end this relationship. You’ve communicated your boundaries numerous times yet she still flagrantly disrespects them and gets mad at you for having them. This is not someone you should continue dating.
Just a heads up, prepare to remain firm in your decision because when the topic of ending things comes up, she will immediately flip the script and promise to do whatever you want. It’s a smoke screen.
A person who you can’t talk out issues with, and who thinks she has the right to stomp all over your boundaries? You set her on the curb with the rest of the things you don’t need in your life anymore.
What you do is get a better girlfriend, lol.
If she can’t respect your boundaries, gets defensive when you open up to her, and pesters you if you don’t. Then you can either accept that is who she is, or walk away.
Tbh if my partner was doing anything in bed with someone else I’d be done.