I (21m) is talking to my ex(21f). we have been talking for 7 months now and have gotten nowhere. She broke things off with me last December in 2021 because she was saying that she had to work on herself and find herself and told me that we would be only dating when we are 26. When she told me that I found it very weird. I will admit though during that relationship I was a bit immature and insecure because I was always going back to her past and talk about how she kissed other guys and stuff and I would cause problems. I admit it was very childish of me and I shouldn’t of have.
Over the past year though I have worked on myself and I have taken the right steps to become a better person and not bring problems to a new relationship. 6 months after the break up she texts me and wants to get back together. Now its seven months that we have been talking and I feel like I am dealing with insecurities because I dont know if I should just let her go or take her back. I feel like I won’t find anyone better but at the same time this girl has sort of used me in the past.
Just for context, during our relationship which lasted around a year and a Half I would do most of homework/assignments, I would always pay for everything and drive her everywhere and I would do nice gestures. I always wanted to spend time with her and take care of her but she would barely do she wouldn’t plan anything. Now I know I am the man in the relationship but when my bday came I got my gifts a week later when Christmas came as well I got my stuff a week later and on Christmas Day she still didn’t have my gift. Like I don’t normally care about not getting my stuff on time its just I feel like there was no thought put into the gifts.
She was also calling me a manipulator when I would do her homework and her exams during covid I would tell her it comes from the heart and it really did I really did want her to do good and thats why I would do her homework and exams but then some arguments I would just say like look I do all of your homework, all of your exams I just want you to do a bit more in the relationship and to her it was manipulation because according to her since I wanted something in return it meant it didn’t come from the heart.
At this point however, I just do not know whether or not I will find someone better because I know the grass is not always greener, but at the same time is she only coming back for what I am providing for her? I am very confused because when I ask her why did you comeback she tells me that she loves me and wants me to be her boyfriend. I just do not know what to do anymore if I should ask her out or not!
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TL DR; I feel like she only wants me for what I provide thus, should I get back with her?
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Thank you in advance for the responses
2 comments
If either of you haven’t made any effort to resolve the issues, getting back together after a break is not going to make anything better. Resolve issues, see if they are even resolvable , then think about getting together.
Words are cheap
>At this point however, I just do not know whether or not I will find someone better
You need to work on yourself more, especially your self confidence. “I don’t know if I can do better” is not a solid foundation for a relationship. It also indicates that maybe you aren’t ready for another relationship at all. Work on a relationship with yourself to the point where having a partner might sound nice but you don’t feel the need to give up your self respect to be with someone.
She’s a user and she already chewed you up and spit you out. I’m not sure why you’d want to go back to that.