Mine (25f) and my ex’s libidos matched at first, but over the years turned out I have a higher drive, so I reserved to masturbation, almost always to porn. I was able to cum pretty quickly (5-7 mins tops) from masturbating, and more often than not it would take me 10-15 mins of PIV action to cum, however by the end of the relationship sex was quite a rare occasion (2-4 times a month maybe). We broke up earlier this year, and I’m now dating a guy whos libido matches (if not exceeds) mine. I’m happy having daily sex, but apparently I now can’t cum from PIV at all, and it can be difficult to cum from him eating me out (usually takes around 20-30 mins) – I often play entire porn movies in my head to be able to finish. Masturbation (although these days I almost never do it) also takes more time (10-20 mins) and effort and only gets me there with porn. It starts getting frustrating, tbh. Do ya’ll think I have a porn addiction or there could be some other issues? What do I do with it?
For clarity: I don’t take any medication and didn’t have any big lifestyle changes in terms of diet and physical activity, and I do find my current bf hot af
5 comments
I would try to cut it out and see if your sensitivity increases. Are you using a vibrator during your porn/masturbation sessions? Vibrators can cause less sensitivity over time. If cutting it out doesn’t work, it may that you are in your own head. The second you noticed the trend of not being able to cum as often or as quickly, then it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy where the focus is on cumming and you psyche yourself out. One recommendation I’ve seen is to just make the goal to have fun during sex and take the pressure off yourself to cum–sometimes that’s the easiest way to get out of your head and have great orgasms again.
Sounds like a porn addiction to me. You should be getting turned on from being with your partner, not from playing porn movies in your head! That is probably why you are having difficult cumming.
You could have desensitized yourself with too much masturbation. Lay off of masturbating for 3-4 weeks and see how you feel.
How’s the size/shape match with your new bf compared with your ex? That and his skill during PIV will have an effect if your primary method of orgasming with a partner is penetration.
Could your ex make you come with oral in 20-30 minutes or was it faster? Is your oral orgasm time in line with what it was before?
It makes sense it takes longer to orgasm now with daily sex instead of 2-4 times a month. That’s a lot more regular stimulation.
With regards to masturbation time, it makes sense it takes longer without porn. Would it take the same amount of time as before if you dug out the extra dirty porn and masturbated guilt free?
It sounds like you are in your head combined with a healthy dose of partner to partner differences. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
Edit: a word
People are quick to label things a “porn addiction”. To have an addiction, it needs to seriously affect you negatively and can’t go without. Like watching porn at work or in all your spare times
It just sounds like masturbation with porn is more pleasurable for you. You probably stimulate your clit when you masturbate compared to just PIV sex so it’s likely why. You do mention still cuming from oral and the time it takes is similar to masturbation.
But it’s true that in general you get desensitized when you do something a lot. With porn, you eventually check new or more exciting stuff. And with sex, if it’s always the same thing, it can get boring for some people.