So first of all, I’m 24(M), and she’s 25(F)and there’s a lot of backstory here— but cutting to the chase, a co-worker, my former co-admin who used to work in my department made me belt out my feelings for her and used the “so there’s no what ifs” excuse to dismiss any following concerns. Now this was before I left for holiday where I would be alone with my thoughts.
I guess it was kinda my fault for making things awkward (I’m dogshit when it comes to expressing sudden rushes of emotion), but basically she said she couldn’t reciprocate my feelings but I think she was expecting it to end there. But I pressed her as she pressed me, to say the least. Now it seems she’s the one who feels… awkward was her wording for it, violated would be mine.
She resigned a few weeks ago but I still hear about her from friends I know at work. Is it still worth pursuing a friendship there or even a relationship? Is it still worth worrying about her wellbeing and I guess existence when she’s practically walked out of my life via gaslighting me.
I asked my brother’s wife and she said that this girl was a red flag of sorts, with the way she pressed my emotions while feeling victimized when I pressed hers.
4 comments
>>basically she said she couldn’t reciprocate my feelings but I think she was expecting it to end there.
It should have ended there. No is a complete sentence.
>>But I pressed her
You sure did
Sometimes you have to just let life fall into place, my advice is don’t force anything, if there’s a mutual gathering of course be cordial and try and converse, if a topic on social media pops up and your both commenting then be engaging, if an event you know you both mutually enjoy like a movie or concert no harm is suggesting you go together.
Sometimes finding out the feelings of others is scary and some time away makes them actually want it and if your available and she reaches out just let it happen, and if you not available that’s her bad luck, so just love your life and whatever will be will be
You really do enjoy painting yourself as a victim.
>Is it still worth pursuing a friendship there or even a relationship?
Absolutely not, leave her alone
I’ve been this girl before. Guy is obviously pinning and give him the chance to put his heart out there so I can let him know as kindly as I can that I don’t feel the same way so we can move on with our friendship. Guy doesn’t take the hint, kept pressing me to give him a chance until I get uncomfortable and avoid him at all costs.
She’s allowed to say she’s not interested and you’re allowed to be upset. But chasing after her is only going to hurt you both