Hello. I’m using a throwaway because this doesn’t fit with the posts on my main, but I don’t mind if people I know find this post, maybe they can even help me.
My fiancee is currently 30 weeks pregnant and we are still struggling to find a baby name. We got her middle name down, but her first name is a hard one for some reason, my last name is a hard one to work with. My fiancee’s grandma died 4 months ago and she wants to name our daughter after her grandma. Her grandma was a very kind-hearted person and usually I’d say of course, but her grandma literally said on her deathbed that she does not want any child named after her. No first name, no middle name, no nothing. Her reasoning behind it was that she didn’t want to curse any child because she felt as if she made really poor decisions in her early life. She knew my fiancee was pregnant, so she also said her name sounds hideous with my last name Lol.
Her grandma’s name was Emille (ehm-meel). My fiancee has been bringing up names like Emelia, Emmi, Emily, etc. I think it’s disrespectful considering what her grandma said, but my fiancee says that she most likely wasn’t in her right mind when she said that. I told my fiancee this wasn’t a valid reason but she’s still doing the same thing. I don’t know what her name will be, but I just know that I will be respecting the wishes of someone that I had the pleasure to know for 10+ years.
8 comments
> my last name is a hard one to work with
The kid could take on your fiancée’s last name.
> Her grandma was a very kind-hearted person and usually I’d say of course, but her grandma literally said on her deathbed that she does not want any child named after her.
> I think it’s disrespectful considering what her grandma said, but my fiancee says that she most likely wasn’t in her right mind when she said that. I told my fiancee this wasn’t a valid reason but she’s still doing the same thing.
Did grandma have a second name? Different people have different points of views about these issue. For some it’s a no-go, for others it’s not.
> I don’t know what her name will be, but I just know that I will be respecting the wishes of someone that I had the pleasure to know for 10+ years.
It’s two “yes” for a name, hence, you just have to continue looking.
If you like Emille who cares what weird dying grandma says? Do the name you both like.
Sounds like you’re wife loves it.. why are no variations possible? If you aren’t opposed a variation could be a perfect compromise.
I’m further confused because none of this was your grandmother, it was HER grandmother. Are you generally superstitious?
Say that you’re not budging on this and you’re not going to allow it to be circumvented either, but that your partner is of course free to veto any name that she doesn’t want either.
And then just keep saying that the discussion is already over on that name if she keeps bringing it up.
Naming a baby is hard. You both need to agree on the baby’s name. Grandma didn’t want her Granddaughter to be named after her. Your fiancee needs to respect that. Besides, you don’t like the name anyway.
Well man, it sounds like you have 10 weeks to scour every baby book and internet site to find a new name that blows your fiancés mind enough she forgets grandmas name.
Maybe something that just symbolizes your wife’s connection to her grandma. Example: if her favorite flower was a Lily, you could name her Lily. If your wife and her Grandma loved to go to Olive Garden together – maybe Olivia. (Obviously kidding, but you get the idea).
If she wasn’t actually in her right mind then it isn’t disrespectful at all. Idk how you think it is
If you don’t hate the name Émíly or Emilia, I’d let it go. It’s not your grandma.
Now if you have a name you love that’s a different story and you should have an input.
If the child is going to have your last name,she should get final say on first name. I think that a variation of the name is a great compromise