I (25M) started dating my girlfriend (24F) 6 years ago. Right before we starting dating her parents got divorced and her mom stole a bunch of things from her dads house, she also took all of the money out of the shared college account for my girlfriend. During college my girlfriend worked and the money she made would be direct deposited into an account that her mom was also connected to and she would take money out of it promising to pay her back but never did. Now that we live together and both have good paying jobs her mom is always asking both of us to borrow money or help pay her bills because she has bought a brand new house and a car that she can’t afford. I get nervous whenever she comes over to stay the weekend with us since I have things that I know are worth a fair amount of money and cannot simply hide or put away. How do I talk to my girlfriend about this?
2 comments
Just talk to her honestly. There’s no special way.
Why is the mother like this? Just irresponsible or drug / gambling issues?
This is a situation where you need to be blunt, tell her straight up why you are uncomfortable with the mother staying there. I mean your girlfriend would be unreasonable to argue the point especially since the mother stole money from her already. Money for her college fun! Like dang, that is fucked up.
This is a reasonable conversation, though try to go about it as respectful as possible without bad mouthing the mother.
That might be kind of hard considering the circumstances, so just be blunt(in a nice way).
Start off by saying “I love you with all my heart, and will always respect you and your family. But you and I worked really hard to get where we are and their is no denying your mother’s issues. I’d love to have her over but we need to set boundaries, not sure if she would ever steal from us or anything like that but it is a concern I have”.
If your girlfriend gets mad at this, well that is an argument for another day my friend and you are on your own lol. Good luck chief, maybe have a couple of shots before having this convo. Talking about your partners parents is never easy 🙏