My GF recently started a diet and she’s eating healthy – salmon, chicken, minimal red meat, grains, veggies, etc.
Problem is I really don’t like any of the food she makes to stick to her diet.
The only fish I like is canned tuna; I’m big on burgers (infinitely preferred to steak); not huge into chicken, and I’m not a big “sauces” guy outside of red sauce on pasta and pizza and, like, condiments, so I’d want my chicken dry and not with whatever sauce she makes for it, unless it’s a teriyaki sauce (which, y’know, is 90% sugar).
I’m also super picky with my veggies. She isn’t.
She has a roommate and I live at home so daily isn’t an issue, but last weekend we hit a block – what I wanted to have for dinner (Taco Bell) wasn’t on her diet plan, and the counter service pita place she wanted I really won’t eat anything on the menu (she paid $15 for my hummus and lettuce pita wrap; she paid $15 for her fully-loaded pita wrap)
So after probably almost ten minutes we both kind of settled on Subway.
I like Subway well enough, it’s just when I’m wanting Taco Bell…
I’m worried that going forward this’ll become an issue
Like if she makes something at home for her dinner and I bring Burger King or Panda Express for myself, I feel like I’d be being cruel to her.
But I can’t just not eat.
Advice would be helpful.
tl;dr: GF started a diet and I will eat next to nothing of what she’ll eat on it, so we can’t eat the same meals and I feel like I’ll be being cruel if I eat fast food or Chinese to-go or whatever next to her, and it seems wildly unfair for her to make two separate meals for us, especially since my meal would be just a PB&J sandwich most of the time, since that’s my go-to backup.
18 comments
Why not cook your meals together but have separate meals? And if you go out to eat, why not grab something from two places and then go somewhere else to eat it? As for when you’re craving take out and she can’t eat it, talk to her about whether or not she’s okay with you eating it around her or if she prefers you eat that on your own.
Discuss eating separate meals, including sometimes picking up food from two places. I have an extremely restrictive diet (I’m a vegetarian, allergic to corn, and a picky eater) and my partner not only prefers a different diet, but eating differently than I do is better for his health. So, we each make our own food. There is some overlap of where we can eat from, but we often just do things on our own. And sometimes he gets take out just for him. It isn’t the norm, but we’ve gotten used to it. It isn’t ideal – it’s certainly nicer and more convenient to have more overlap, but it can be lived with, and it can be worth it for a good relationship. You just both need to be okay with it.
Well she doesn’t need to make a second meal for you, but yes it’s difficult if you are trying to eat healthy and someone brings home a burger.
My suggestion is that you ask her about it. How does she feel about it? Also, maybe you consider trying a little healthier food. Some guys can be athletic and still need to watch their cholesterol. Just be sure you aren’t missing an opportunity to improve your health too.
There’s nothing wrong with just cooking for yourselves, though if you’ve just decided you’re gonna eat nothing but burgers teriyaki and Taco Bell I might gently suggest expanding your palate.
The advice you’ve gotten here is awesome – I might suggest an easy, healthy dinner for you both might be taco bowls. Since you like Taco Bell?
Ground turkey meat w taco seasoning (tastes just like beef), bell peppers, black beans, corn, onions, tomatoes, guacamole, and put it on top of rice or lettuce?
Not sure this helps but just tossing it out there.
Unpopular opinion, but maybe hit up both places? I know this sounds silly, but it could avoid a lot of problems.
Eh, I dated a vegan for years and I’m a picky meat eater. There wasn’t a ton of overlap in what we could both eat and genuinely enjoy. You just find ways to make it work and if both people decide not to make a big deal out of it, then the solutions are typically simple.
As an example of a simple solution: I’m not sure why you guys didn’t just go to both Taco Bell and the pita place? When my ex and I roadtripped, we stopped in this town that has a super good fried chicken place. The only vegan thing they have is fries. So he’d drop me off at the chicken place then go to the vegan burger place 2 blocks away. We met back up and ate our different fast foods together.
If you want something fancier than a PB&J sandwich, you’re capable of making it, right? So is she. She’s an adult and she’s responsible for this diet she’s decided to take on. If you really can’t stand the idea of leaving her without takeout, then identify some fast food places she can eat and plan to buy some when you go get your Panda Express.
You’re a 31 year old man who can’t feed yourself and will only eat your mother’s cooking and junk food?
How do you imagine this plays out as and when you two move in together?
Have a mature conversation with her. It sounds like you really rely on her for food, I think it’s going to be hard for you to get good advice because the obvious answers are to cook for yourself, get a separate meal without making it a big deal, or to get less picky, or get more creative in how you order at places she likes.
You don’t need to like the food she makes for her diet. While she improves her diet, maybe try and improve your own life skills or tastes. You could also just be supportive. There’s nothing wrong with making two stops or ordering from separate restaurants and eating together
OP, LEARN to cook. Don’t just try once and be like “well guess that’s it” and never try it again. Also beggars can’t be choosers. You’re complaining that you don’t want to eat what your girlfriend makes for her diet but is she not the one making it? I understand that she’s a trained baker but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to learn how to make yourself food. Making eggs is easy as fuck. Just watch YouTube videos and learn how to make basic foods.
Learn to cook gourmet meals for yourself. ✌️
Hey, after reading these comments I DO think this new diet of hers is going to be a problem. I think she is going to see you as more and more of a child than a man, one who can’t learn and grow. I think she will find new dimensions of herself, expand beyond you, and eventually leave you.
>>seems wildly unfair for her to make two separate meals for us
I mean, why is it the assumption that SHE will make 2 separate meals for you two, rather than you making your own…?
Let your spouse eat healthy if she wants too, maybe take a hint. Your not 20 anymore and eventually your food choices will catch up with you.
As for everyone saying, learn how to cook. They are completely right. Stop complaining and start making your own meals. It is an acquired skill like any other and you need to practice before you are able.
I’d say meal plan, but that sounds a bit too much like adulting for this situation.
It doesn’t sound like you’re a picky eater, it sounds like you don’t want to eat healthy food, and you’re resentful of her that she does.
Rather than be a condescending ass like most of these commenters, I would suggest finding out if you have ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), and see if you can get some help for it if you do.
Picky eating genuinely sucks and I hate how stigmatised it is, especially on reddit it seems.
Picky eating is going to be more or less of a problem in every relationship. This doesn’t sound like the worst conflict I can imagine due to picky eating
I’m vegetarian, my boyfriend isn’t. He has never once complained about earing what I cook which is always vegetarian. Once in a while I cook him chicken.